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Re: my husband doesn't dance
Posted by tomcatsud
2/23/2013  1:48:00 AM
im sorry but some men doesn't come with this feature !!!
Re: my husband doesn't dance
Posted by commodoredawe
8/20/2013  9:46:00 PM
I am a husband of a wonderful wife. I have tried to learn dancing, ballroom and salsa mainly but apart from a couple of basic steps I am just no good at it at all.

My wife is a brilliant dancer, we have been married for 27 year. She deserves to get the entertainment and fun that she wants.

I love to see her dance with other men. I love to feel her to be free whatever she likes to do and enjoy all dances in the way she wants them to enjoy. We have talked about this a lot and I just always say that she should enjoy what she wants to enjoy. I trust she won't leave me and I have no objections to her enjoying all dances in the way she and her respective dance partners want to enjoy their time on the dance floor and/or evenings when they go out without me being there.

I just don't understand why you would want to stop somebody from having fun.

Commmodore Dawe
Re: my husband doesn't dance
Posted by Dominicana
9/5/2013  6:09:00 PM
Woaahhh is been forever since this threat and I'm going through something so similar, is just devastating the person you love and you want to share this with is just not even trying😔. Okay even if you don't answer me or anyone, I feel I have to for those going through this!!! I've been married for 6 years now and this whole thing is been happening ever since we met. As weird as it sounds he met me at a night club. (Yes he met me "dancing" ) and I knew he didn't knew how to dance how I'd like to but I was okay because he always tried. And I figure heeey I'll teach him how to dance (Bachata "the Dominican way" he's Mexican btw. Anyways.... I said I'll teach him how to dance (bachata, merengue, salsa, etc). But as years passed by he didn't want to dance when the opportunity was there for us. So here I am numerous times sitting by his side, people telling him to dance with me, and he just laughs and says "yeah later...." I just felt like dying watching others having a blast while I sat there and watch. Well.. This kept happening until I snapped a couple of times coming home from "those party's" about how sick and tired iam of telling him how I love to dance and how I want him to join me. I offered to teach him alot of times, I even told him for us to get some dancing lessons, and he just laughs. I must say I love this man to peaces, he's the father of my four kids, he's an excellent lover and everything else, but..... This is hes defect that he's not even trying to fix, knowing how important it is to me. I'm not trying to be selfish (I just want for "us" to have fun together. He works hard and I too, so that is why I want for us to to out there and release some stress haha.. I just love to dance, I enjoy the music every bit of it. I don't understand how can someone go to a party and not enjoy it 😒😞 and that's my husband and now I? No waaay any suggestions????? Please email me at yinellyrod@yahoo.com
Re: my husband doesn't dance
Posted by Husband
9/27/2013  1:51:00 PM
Can you only dance with him? Isn't there others attending the parties that you can dance with? He probably isn't comfortable dancing and needs his confidence built a bit so, it is up to you to make him more comfortable. I am sure are aware of the machismo factor he has as a Latin and is not likely to do anything that that he doesn't do well. Try to inspire him rather than putting him on a guilt trip.
Re: my husband doesn't dance
Posted by ladydance
9/27/2013  3:04:00 PM
There might be a couple of reasons why your husband won't dance. First: He thinks dancing is only something you do to find a woman. Many men think this way. Once they are a part of a couple, they see no need to dance and don't want their partners dancing with anyone. Dancing = sex. Second: he is deathly afraid of something, either failure, looking stupid, or disappointing you. I would try to get him to a private lesson when the studio is very quiet. The fear keeps many men from dancing, once they try it and realize no one is watching they relax. At our studio, we have men take private lessons before they start the beginner group for non dancers because they are so sure they will be the only one who can't dance. Sounds like there is too much pressure on him at social occasions. I wouldn't try teaching him yourself, again too much pressure.
Re: my husband doesn
Posted by sm555
4/1/2014  10:14:00 AM
I do not enjoy dancing. Tried it. Don't like it. My wife kept begging me to dance. One time I said ok. We danced. She never asked me again. I am a musician. My sense of rhythm is in my hands not my feet. I would rather play the music not dance to it. When women hold dancing above your relationship what does that tell you? The vows say for better or worse. Is dancing beyond worse? You can love dancing and you can love you husband. Which do you love more?
Re: my husband doesn
Posted by O.K.
4/6/2014  5:29:00 PM
This is the deadly spite that ails me
My wife can play no golf.
And I no dance.
Re: my husband doesn
Posted by marlajms
5/18/2014  9:03:00 PM
I have danced for 4 years. I love it and it makes me very happy. My husband does NOT want to learn to dance, though he has made himself known at my studio by taking great pictures of studio events. I think you have to have a balance. I do not go to the studio every night because I need to spend some nights at home with my husband. I'm very open with my husband about what happens at the studio, and I'm careful that any routines I would do, he would be OK with. He has liked the changes that have come about because of my dancing, so over all, it's a win-win. If I had to choose, I would choose my husband. But, he would also never make me choose.
Re: my husband doesn
Posted by egimug
7/22/2014  6:54:00 PM
I am a 62 year old male and was blessed to started ballroom dancing since I was 21. My wife and I had been together for 23 yrs now and we didn't really danced until 10 yrs ago. I never forced her to dance and while we started to go on cruises, after many, the shows and entertainments repeats so she started to dance a little at first, then wanted more. We both dealt with dancing as an exercise for our health for the future (good for the mind, balance, body) and will be something we can continue to do together until we both can no longer walk! In the beginning, my wife is very concerned when I do any steps/patterns that will make her look bad on the floor so I only dance what she likes and true there are times I felt that she is progressing in her dances but I was stuck and going backwards and start to forget many patterns I have learned thru the years. Slowly, people started to notice us as a couple dance smoothly together as one and started to comment her and asking if she competes or if she is an instructor these days. These kind of comments makes her want to improve even further, so my experience is dancing can not be rushed. It takes time and patience with each other. In my case, me being an experience male dancing with a lady is so much easier than the other way around.

Thru the years of observations, I find many man feels being dumb on the floor and thus make them not motivated to learn. I consider myself a very good instructor but I don't teach. On cruises, I do teach friends met onboard where they show interest in learning. My first thing is to tell the wives that ballroom dancing is a partnership dance. Doesn't matter if one is very good and if the partner is not as good, you will viewed as a couple and not individually. Wife has to be very patient and must encourage her spouse to motivate him to dance. If not, it will never work. Basically women learns faster because they need only to learn the steps and to follow in the beginning. Whereas, the men needs to learn the steps, listen to the beats of the music, think what patterns to do and when to execute the lead. It is so...HARD for men to do all these things together. Remember, men were all one track mind and now you ladies are asking men to multi-task!!! So be patient, compliment how well he is doing even if just so, so. Kind words will go a long way especially when men felt so intimated by the more experience mens on the floor. Men just feels threaten and don't like to look stupid even if we are. The other problems I find is that some instructors are teaching too many patterns and too many different dances all at once. It becomes a struggle for men to remember so many things that by the next morning, 90% of what was learned was lost. Now, men will feel they wasted all that money. Most of them don't make the $$$ per hour as the instructors so they value the $$$ they spend is worth it. I only teach people in the beginning a rumba + 1 other simple dance like single step swing, nothing more. I only teach them basic steps plus basic turns. Not too technical because it will feel like teaching a 1 yr old to run before walking. Once they can dance thru a music (must be the music they like as a couple and not what the instructor likes) with good definitive beats, they now feel they have accomplish something and $$$ is not wasted. Thru the years I have thought many friends (100's) and most of them enjoys to dance and is a good healthy social gathering. The bottom line is they must practice by going to dances at least couple times a week. Don't have to dance every dance, just to gather with good friends/make new friends on the floor, to practice. Practice, Practice, Practice until muscle memory kicks in. Once men get over the beginning hump, then they will feel like back to control their life and believe me, men can love to dance even more than women! The post is too long and had to continue next
Re: my husband doesn
Posted by egimug
7/22/2014  7:07:00 PM
This is continuation to my post:

Dancing is ask simple as walking in time of music at a preset sets of steps and directions. So, give it time. It is just like babies learning how to walk, it took they months to prepare for their first steps. They must crawl first to buildup their muscles, so is dancing. You are asked to step in different timing and directions where you are not used to do normally. Muscle memory will kick in.

Dancing is sooo... good for ones health. As we age, our mind is sharp, we are toned and well balanced so we will have much less chance of falling and break our bones, gathering with dancing friends is such a good social event that will take stress out and good for the hearts. Therefore, I do wish everyone to dance and make it fun.....don't argue, it will ruin your relationship and reverse your intension of trying to do something fun as a couple!

Lastly, if one instructor is not clicking with your learning style, do change instructors. Good dancer may not always be a good instructor for you and vice versa, a not so good dancer may be the Best instructor you can learn from.

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