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Re: my husband doesn
Posted by Jim
4/3/2014  12:00:00 PM
If you like the sports analogy let me run this one by you! My wife of 30 years loves to dance, me not so much. At parties & weddings I'll get up so she can enjoy herself but I do little more than shuffle my feet & arms in a crowd. She has talked about trying Ballroom Dancing for a couple of years and I have encouraged her to try it. Recently I felt she needed a distraction because of other things going on in our lives and bought her a beginners package from Living Social. She started
( by herself) and was hooked. She knows I don't like to dance nor do I have any sense of rhythm. I will accompany her to the socials but she is on her own for the lessons, practices & workshops. We have had an agreement from early on in our courtship, I agree to go to ballet & opera with her, she goes to hockey & baseball games with me, she doesn't expect me to tango and I don't ask her to play third base. It works for us and is a good compromise, it isn't a statement of our commitment or fidelity to each other. Don't over think it!
Re: my husband doesn
Posted by pivotingfool
11/9/2009  1:23:00 PM
Cyd,

We are not talking about people who are already dancers.

We are talking about men who are asked to go out and try to impress their wife when the wife is already far ahead, and when she is already dancing with men who are well established.

If you think a little slogan about "what should be, can change what is", more power to you.

However, in reality, most men have egos that are easily brused. Most men don't want to look worse, (Or in this case not nearly as polished.), than the other men in the room. (Espically in front of their wives.)

It is easy for an established male dancer to say that he isn't competing with anyone.

On the other hand, if your team is playing like the Washington Redskins, and you are schedualed to play the New York Giants, you might not feel so non-competive.

I bet if you were one of the Redskin players, you would want to play a little better than you have been,--- if you wife was watching.

The male ego gets us into a lot of trouble. However, just wishing it away, isn't going to change it.


Re: my husband doesn't dance
Posted by Rodney
12/31/2012  6:08:00 PM
My wife did not like dance very much, but I love dance, . I don,t have partner to dance

Re: my husband doesn't dance
Posted by rgswoohoo
1/3/2013  5:48:00 PM
as a single guy myself:

I admit my reason for wanting to dance was when I started seeing different womens' profiles and seeeing that 99.9% of them loved to dance I figured dancing would be a good skill to add to my repertoir to help me meet women more easily.

And, yes, we do have egos. My idea of learning to dance was I wanted to be that one flashy showy guy on the floor that all the ladies swooned over. Little did I know it would take eons too reach that level. But I rememberbeing at dances where everyone else was dancing but me, and it was because I didn't know how to do what they were doing, but yet it looked fun and they were having a good time. And one of the hinderances in taking lessons is that you don't want to look lioke a fool for not being able to do it. Now for any guys who are still hanging on the fence who might happen to read this .... you are going to have to start somewhere. Preferably at the begining. It is going to be a slow painful process. AND you are going to make PLENTY of mistakes before you get it right. If you are going to start at all you have to be willing to look like a fool, and you will look and feel like one, and approach it from the view point that says, "I'm not that flashy guy on the floor ....YET!"

and since I have started dancing ....
I don't consider myself to be the most attractive guy, but I have been dancing for a few years now and it amazes me the amount of women who WANT to dance with me because I can do it and show them a good time (my enjoyment is in making sure the lady is enjoying herself), some of them some really beautiful exotic women, hmmm
Re: my husband doesn't dance
Posted by ballroomchick
1/4/2013  11:16:00 AM
rgswoohoo

I WISH you would repost this on EVERY singles listing there is. I can not tell you how many guys I hear complain.... "where are all the great gals to date." I tell them we are at the ballroom dancing every Friday or Saturday night. They look at me like I've suddenly grown an extra head. They don't beleve me that when tell thme the single guys all end up with a table full of ladies to dance with each week. A gal who is not regulars at his tabels have to snagg the guy before he comes off the dance floor if they wish to dance with him.

Yes we all started somewhere! We ladies WANT more guys to learn to dance. We are willing to help them learn (if they wish it). We encourage them as we hear about their dance lessons. What a way to make friends of all ages, heights and shapes. I've seen many marriages happen this way. Oh and those guys still dance with lot of other ladies and their wifes dance with lots of other guys.
Re: my husband doesn't dance
Posted by ShirleyAnn
1/12/2013  7:02:00 AM
I found the comments most interesting to read. I met my husband at a social dance attached to a dance school 37 years ago. We picked up dancing again after our children grew up but didn't know of many local places to do ballroom dancing at the time (it all seemed to be disco dancing). However the last 2 years we have been learning Sequence dancing and we go out twice sometimes three times a week now and love it and have met lots of new friends. I agree that new bachelor men would be welcome as there are often lots of ladies around needing partners and often having to dance together. I feel very glad to have my lovely husband. I should say that I live in England. I just came across this website today and believe it's American.
Re: my husband doesn't dance
Posted by O.K.
1/15/2013  7:05:00 PM
This is the deadly spite that ails me.
My wife plays no Golf
And I no Dance.
Re: my husband doesn't dance
Posted by anoneemouse
1/17/2013  10:57:00 AM
Thoughts on this topic, and I realize this is an OLD thread..but hey...

It took me forever to come out of my shell and dance. I remembering watching my ex of 16 years dance the Bachata with a guy once. She said "YOU should have been dancing the Bachata with me".

New Year's eve 2012, I danced with so many women, not formal, just social Salsa dancing. Broke my heart to tell a husband "hey go dance with your wife" and have him say "no, it's ok, you go dance with her". I saw her sitting there, on the sidelines, watching life go by. She lit up when I asked her to dance. Was it a matter of seduction or impropriety? Not at all. It was all about being alive.

Dance can be as intimate or not as you make it. For some, it is crucial and the idea of a different partner can evoke jealousy and even rage. The love of my life is an avid dancer. I am learning the Bolero. Why? Because I am never going to miss out on any chance to be there with the woman I love ever again, enjoying those moments. I am certainly not worried about her dancing with other partners, that's not the point. If you love someone, you want THEM to be there enjoying those moments in life. I know she can dance circles around me. Will I stop learning? Heck no, that is already failing...to not do IS the ONLY true failure.

My advice to males who love their partners and are challenged by the idea of dancing...get off your @sses, live your life to the fullest, you only have this one. And this is by no means meant as a judgment as much as it is a stern warning from a very real life experience.
Re: my husband doesn't dance
Posted by dgcasey
1/21/2013  5:06:00 PM
Well, coming from a man's perspective, I loved to dance ballroom. Even did a couple of competitions and showcases. Met lots of ladies and had good times.

The woman I met a few years ago also loves to dance, but she is into the nightclub style of dancing. The shake your booty, bump-n-grind kind of dancing, which just doesn't appeal to me at all. My style is American Smooth or Int. Standard. She doesn't care for those because she doesn't want to spend any time trying to learn all those dances.

She and I are very much in love and will be together for the rest of our lives, but we don't dance anymore. Someday, after we retire, maybe we'll start dancing again. As long as it's ballroom.
Re: my husband doesn't dance
Posted by ballroomchick
1/22/2013  10:03:00 AM

dgcasey

And there was heard and audible cry from the female dance population as another male dancers leaves the ballroom.....

Maybe you could get her interested in Latin and Rhythm dances. Mambo, Cha cha, Samba, Salsa would really get her heart rate up! Then you could dance with her and smooth with the other ladies of your studio.

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