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Re: my husband doesn
Posted by egimug
7/22/2014  7:07:00 PM
This is continuation to my post:

Dancing is ask simple as walking in time of music at a preset sets of steps and directions. So, give it time. It is just like babies learning how to walk, it took they months to prepare for their first steps. They must crawl first to buildup their muscles, so is dancing. You are asked to step in different timing and directions where you are not used to do normally. Muscle memory will kick in.

Dancing is sooo... good for ones health. As we age, our mind is sharp, we are toned and well balanced so we will have much less chance of falling and break our bones, gathering with dancing friends is such a good social event that will take stress out and good for the hearts. Therefore, I do wish everyone to dance and make it fun.....don't argue, it will ruin your relationship and reverse your intension of trying to do something fun as a couple!

Lastly, if one instructor is not clicking with your learning style, do change instructors. Good dancer may not always be a good instructor for you and vice versa, a not so good dancer may be the Best instructor you can learn from.
Re: my husband doesn
Posted by egimug
7/22/2014  7:07:00 PM
This is continuation to my post:

Dancing is ask simple as walking in time of music at a preset sets of steps and directions. So, give it time. It is just like babies learning how to walk, it took they months to prepare for their first steps. They must crawl first to buildup their muscles, so is dancing. You are asked to step in different timing and directions where you are not used to do normally. Muscle memory will kick in.

Dancing is sooo... good for ones health. As we age, our mind is sharp, we are toned and well balanced so we will have much less chance of falling and break our bones, gathering with dancing friends is such a good social event that will take stress out and good for the hearts. Therefore, I do wish everyone to dance and make it fun.....don't argue, it will ruin your relationship and reverse your intension of trying to do something fun as a couple!

Lastly, if one instructor is not clicking with your learning style, do change instructors. Good dancer may not always be a good instructor for you and vice versa, a not so good dancer may be the Best instructor you can learn from.
Re: my husband doesn
Posted by Reluctant dancer
9/8/2014  11:23:00 AM
Hello all..my story is that I started ballroom with my partner (his idea). We were both complete beginners. He learns much faster than me,I find it difficult to retain so much information in such a short space of time. He used to get quite impatient with me,so much so that I detested going. There was an argument most weeks. I told him how I felt and he said he didn't mean anything by it (we had only been together a year) and he tried hard to change his behaviour. It did get better but I'm not as keen as he is and it's still a bone of contention. We discussed it again and I agreed to go for his sake, but I just don't enjoy ballroom dancing, I'm more the Latin/salsa type,that is not his thing. I just have to add that although neither of us are great dancers, he cannot dance in time, and that's yet another bone of contention as he doesn't see that it's much of a problem. I do..it feels so wrong, maybe this is the reason I don't enjoy it.
Re: my husband doesn
Posted by ballroomchick
9/8/2014  12:54:00 PM
Reluctant Dancer

Dancing off time IS a big deal. I dont enjoy social dancing that much for this very reason. I only go to celebrate a birthday. I spend a lot of time just catching up with everyone. Last week I watched a guy who thinks hes all that AND a bag of chip. He stands along the side lines and will only dance with the really cute girls. I watched him cha cha with one girl - I was getting mad for her! He shoved her one direction then another. He would NOT let her finish a move, but then HE was not finishing his own moves either. Rolling through the feet - whats that???? Apparently he thinks the party is up stairs as much as down stairs. So much chatter on the connection NO girl could hear his lead.

Any way you can take lessons/dance Pro/Am? This would fix any problems you might have developed with your last partner. It would give you a feeling of security to dance with a professional, AND you can learn at YOUR pace. Hopefuly this will love dancing again.
Re: my husband doesn
Posted by allybabba
10/20/2014  3:48:00 PM
I'm in a little different situation ... I'm a guy who has danced for 15 years, intermediate skills. It's been a one-a-week hobby for many years. I just married my partner of 5 years. She hasn't danced much before, but we're taking lessons, she's turning out to be a much quicker study than I ever was ... she's learning fast.

So, it seems like a good deal. This is the situation: she's fine with the dance part, she just doesn't like the social part - for herself. She also doesn't like crowded dance floors.

She's fine with me going dancing by myself - as I have for a few years. However, I'm feeling less comfortable going by myself, largely due to the less favorable reactions of some women dancers. During a mixer, a couple women that didn't know me refused to dance with me more than once (the numbers were fairly even, we were paired up again), even though I kept a respectful distance, and let them have their space. This generally did not happen before, and it was somewhat embarrassing; I assume it was because they saw my ring.

Any thoughts on what is the best way to work this situation? It seems that married women who go dancing without their spouse are not seen with the same suspicion as a guy who does.

Re: my husband doesn
Posted by ballroomchick
10/21/2014  11:47:00 AM
Allybabba

Being a jerk is NOT gender specific. These ...girls are breaking social dance code - you do not refuse a person a dance (male or female) unless....
#1 you dont have your dance shoes on.
#2 You really dont know the steps of the particular dance. (but you should be willing to have that person show you how to do the basics)
#3 You are totally out of breath and need a dance to re-oxygenate.
#4 You just killed your foot.

In the 4 studios I dance - married folk come to there and dance with everyone.
Wives come by themselves and dance with everyone.
Husbands come by themselves and dance with everyone.

Its a dance not a contract to do .... what ever. Unless you are making passes at the girls, which I assume you are not.

Brush it off to these females being total jerks and dont bother wasting your time on them again.

As for your wife, crowded floors teach you better floor craft and how to better pay attention to your partner. I have found as I have progress out of Bronze and working for competition, I dont enjoy social dancing as much. I get tired of guys cutting out important portions of patterns. Pushing/pulling me off my center/balance. Young guys who dance smooth dances like they were 105 yrs old and on glass hips. I understand keeping progressive moves in check when the floor is crowded, but when its open and barely moving gets old fast. IMHO

I wish you and your wife the best.
Re: my husband doesn't dance
Posted by Gakket Darrey
8/24/2020  12:04:00 PM
It's normal that spouses have different hobbies.
Re: my husband doesn't dance
Posted by Jeffery Tracy
12/22/2020  9:20:00 PM
Most men refuse to dance only because they don't know how and don't want to look bad in front of other men.
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