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Re: Don't make new couples change partners
Posted by nloftofan1
3/6/2017  10:07:00 AM
Many dances have "mixers" (chair dances, snowballs, etc.), usually at a break. For 5-10 minutes you have a chance to dance with several partners--and meet them. Keep looking.
Re: Don't make new couples change partners
Posted by ladydance
3/10/2017  6:55:00 AM
You are presuming that a woman dancing with one man doesn't want to dance with anyone else. Try asking her. I have seen this same situation at my studio and it turned out the woman liked to dance with others but was never asked. Ask everyone, including instructors. Most women do not ask men to dance. As for instructors 'working', I have never heard of such a thing. Most instructors like to be free at a party to dance because it might result in a new student for them.
Re: Don't make new couples change partners
Posted by nloftofan1
3/10/2017  10:28:00 AM
The practice of paying instructors to accompany a student to a dance and partner the student is very common, at least in this area. Our favorite dance instructor (also a friend) called them "dance whores."
Re: Don't make new couples change partners
Posted by bob
3/16/2017  2:58:00 PM
Hi, its bob again. I have tried what you suggest and in my experience I get a shocked "no" from the woman and a dirty look from the guy she is with. Let's face it, quite a few men feel "this is my woman!". Also, I don't want any trouble and I certainly don't want to get any blood on my shoes when I beat the crap out of him (ha!).

Dancing, like alot of things I suppose, is an exercise in human nature. I try to read the women at dances. Should I approach? Is she available? How does she dance? What kind of dances/movements is she good at, and/or like? And, How does she look at the guy she is with? bored? amused? turned-on? just being polite? or is she a mystery?

There is also something called "date night" which seems very odd to me. If they just want to be together couldn't they stay home and play the radio?
Re: Don't make new couples change partners
Posted by ladydance
3/16/2017  4:14:00 PM
Hi Bob, find a new party and or studio. If you find a studio with both competitors and social dancers (for lack of a better description - those who take their dancing seriously but don't want to compete), you will find those who will dance with anyone at a party and don't go for any of the crap you describe. That being said, since you started dancing to meet women, have you got a reputation that you are looking for a girlfriend? Are you a good lead, not overbearing or bossy? Why don't you find a partner with no conditions or expectations and go with them to the dances?
Re: Don't make new couples change partners
Posted by RL
4/2/2017  12:23:00 PM
Hi Bob,

I understand how disheartening it can be as a single to not be able to find someone to dance with. Many single men and women feel the frustration that you have expressed. However, there are many actions that you can take to overcome this, as was noted by ladydance. As she suggested, a good lead with a kind and positive attitude rarely has trouble finding a partner to dance with.

Are there not any single ladies at the venue you are going to? Or, are you, like so many others, just one of those guys who wants the one you can't have? Don't focus on the lady's who are already taken. Find a venue where there are singles. Or, better yet, if you are dancing to find women, why don't you try on-line dating and instead of inviting them to the usual dinner and a movie, take her out dancing and wow her with your moves. Even if the relationship doesn't work, you'll have another potential dance partner if she sticks with it.

You also mentioned that couples should stay home for a "date night". It's always a wonderful thing to snuggle up to your honey on the couch on any given night. However, socializing with others is an important part of any couple's relationship. Singles may feel left out when couples socialize together, but it is important and healthy for them to do so. If you are into being a bachelor, find others who enjoy the same lifestyle. Otherwise, look forward to the day when you can join the "couples club"!
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