I was reading another post about beginners at social dances and wanted to start a discussion about how advanced dancers should approach dancing with beginners. I'm an intermediate dancer who has been going to studio parties since I was a total beginner, so it's something I've given a lot of thought to. Here's my advice to men dancing with beginner ladies:

--Accept that this dance is not for you, but for the beginner. You're not doing it to have a great dance, but to "pay forward" all the people who danced with you when you were beginning, to welcome a newcomer to the dance community, to keep ballroom dance alive in your town, and maybe because the beginner is a nice person. So focus on making it a good experience for the beginner.

--Accept that the beginner is going to make mistakes, mess up the footwork, get off time, etc. If they didn't, they wouldn't be beginners. Don't make them feel bad. Just go back to the most basic step until they get back with you.

--Dance at her level. Start with the most basic steps. Keep using the ones that she follows you on. If you try a step and she can't follow it, don't do it again. (I can't tell you how many times I've danced with someone who has tried a step I don't know and then, even if I've told them I don't know it, kept trying to do it. Why would anybody do that?) Even if you end up doing nothing but waltz progressives around the whole floor, you'll still have contributed to her becoming a good dancer by giving her a good experience and bolstering her confidence. And she will have enjoyed the dance, even if you didn't (at least that way, one of you will!).

--Lead all the way through the step. She's not ready for "he goes, she goes" yet or for the dynamic I've heard described as the man initating the step, the lady responding, and the man following her response. You don't have to shove her around or use a strong hand lead, but it will be up to you to stay in contact with her and guide the step all the way through.

--Don't try to teach. Don't offer advice unless she asks. And don't count, announce the steps, put her in a practice hold, etc. Maintain the illusion that this is a social occasion and that you are enjoying her company.

--Ask her twice. It's really demoralizing to dance with someone once and have them never ask you again.

I'd like to hear what other people think about this issue. And, now that I'm beginning to dance with men who are less advanced than I am, I'd like to hear from men what ladies can do to make those beginning dances enjoyable for them.

I think we have a problem and the professional teachers are to blame. I will explain. Where I live each studio has a different syllabus, even for its bronze medal classes. Each one try's to be cleverer than the other. This might sound ok on paper but in my humble opinion does nothing for dancing. If a person were to arrive from the other side of the country into a studio, they as a bronze medalist should be able to dance with any bronze medalist having never clapped eyes on them ever before. It doesn't matter whether it be Standard or Latin. The situation here is that somebody from the North side of town has difficulty with someone from the South side.To continue complaining. I find that the steps allowed, in for instance, the bronze Standard. The ones who first compiled the list for each of the medals never intended that a studio teach the lot in one go and in a different order, and therein lies some of the trouble.

I agree with Ellen's advices and I'd like to mention an additional aspect: A more advanced man dancing with a beginner lady improves his abilities in leading. I did learn a lot from dancing with beginners: one has to concentrate a lot in leading figures "step by step" and not only the beginning of a variation hoping "lady will do the rest by herself" as it may be a temptation when a man dances with a partner of the same or higher level.