My husband and I have been taking ballroom dance lessons for 6 months, sometimes together with either our male or female instructor (who happen to be husband and wife), sometimes separately with the instructor of the opposite sex. Suddenly now, my husband is jealous of our male instructor! Can anyone advise me how to handle this? We have come a long way in 6 months and I would hate to change instructors since each one has a slightly different technique.

Oh please!!. This simply tells me your husband is "In it" for more than the learning. It is not unusual for people to become attracted to their instructors. Deal with it!! Admit it!!.Talk about it!!. We all have desires and that's what drives us. What's important here is that we dont consume ourselves with it. If you change instructors it should be a mutual decision not just yours.

Hi there Petite. I am a male dance instructor, and I teach a number of couples. I would almost not even consider teaching a wife of a dancing couple without the husband being very interested in me doing that. If I do dance with a wife, while I'm teaching the couple, I always am doing so in instructing him (or at least I ensure he's at least 50% of my focus). And I always ask first (him), before I dance with her.

I have a few suggestions: since it is so hard to determine if you husband is justified in feeling a bit jealous (is he jealous of you and your instructor being together, or your dancing growing faster than perhaps his is?), or if your male instructor is physically attracted to you, I would recommend two things:

1) can you arrange that you and your husband take lessons, with each of your individual instructors, at the same time, in the same room?

2) Don't just take "coaching" lessons from the same man...there are a lot of good teachers out there...rotating who teaches you might help your husband's feelings, ... if he still remains jealous, there may be something in between you and he worth focusing time and energy on, or perhaps he feels like his teacher isn't giving him what he wants...talking to him about why he feels jealous would be my first step.

3) Why did you and he decide to dance? Most couples do to build intimace and to have fun! Perhaps revisiting these original goals would be helpful.

Hope this helps...happy dancing! :)

Thanks hotguy,
We have always followed your #1 suggestion so I don't think that is the issue. My dancing started at a slightly higher level than my husband's and is growing faster than his. I had not thought of that but often when we have our lesson together, our instructor will show my husband something and say that he already worked on it with me. Perhaps my husband feels "left out". Thanks for the tip.