Here's a status report. Feedback is welcome.
The situation has improved. Here's a fragment of an email I sent the other day to my girlfriend (who wishes that I only dance with her):
There are a couple of reasons that I take dance lessons.
1) To eventually be able to dance well with you in any circumstance.
2) Excercise.
3) To learn the social skill of dancing.
4) To practice the social skill of negotiating.
5) Recently I have become interested in the challenge of learning certain
steps.
Here is what my current practices are.
Socials: At socials that are outside the dance learning environment
(Parties for work, pubs, restaurants, bars, Christmas parties and such) I
will sit with you (or however the host sits us). I?ll dance with you and
will grant permission if you are asked to dance with anyone else. I don?t
require people to ask my permission to dance with you as you can decide for
yourself. I will dance if other women approach me but only if I have
already danced with you. If you are out dancing, I may ask another women to
dance.
Practices: Within the dance learning environment, at a given practice
session, I will do one of each dance type with you as they come up. I'd
like to have enough closeness during the evening so we can stay in touch
and communicate about our plans for the evening (when we want to leave) and
what our feelings are. I don't want either of us to block the other from
dancing and this includes coldness, negativity and other reprocussions that
come after the evening. I may have a list of things I want to practice and
have specific partners to practice them with so when specific music comes
on, I may want to do that). Either of us can attend practices and
activities on our own within the dance learning community.
Lessons: I'd like to to this together once we have an area of common
interest and skill. Either of us can take dance lessons with separate
partners.
