my wife is latin and i want to encourage her to learn ballroom but she has her own latin style. and i can see she cannot dance to a different beat. she gets frustrated during lessons and dose'nt enjoy the dancing. some advice or sujestions would be great.

You could try salsa.

But often the problem is not the culture of the music, but a rejection of the ballroom idea of cooperation in movement. Someone who wants to just go out and move on their own is taking a very different approach to dialogue in dancing than the approach at the basis of the partner dances. You can ultimately end up in the same place and achieve interaction, but the steps along the way look very different - in ballroom its cooperation first and dancing second, in popular dances its dancing first and cooperation second.