Originally posted by NewDanceGirl:
We're supposed to stand apart, near the dance floor and look approachable but what if I go with friends? I have friends who like to dance too, if we all come together, without partners, are we just supposed to stand alone all night in opposite corners of the room? How lonely!
tourist mentioned the "dating in high school" analogy, so I'll continue it. Do you know how difficult it is for most guys to get up the nerve to ask someone to dance? If that someone is with their friends it is even scarier.
Asking for a dance is not unlike asking for a date, and one of my dating books (Dating for Dummies, probably) had a first-hand story from a woman who went out with her friends a lot but never got asked out until she started specifically not going to the bathroom with her friends. This left her "alone" in the room and guys were more willing to approach her. She still spent most of her time with her frinds, but she also spent some time alone and approachable.
I'm not suggesting that "wallflowers" spend the whole evening avoiding their friends, but I would suggest that the next time a WF goes out that they spend five minutes of every hour standing near the dance floor and see if they get asked to dance.
If there are three girls standing there without partners, they probably all want one, they just don't want to stand by themselves all night. To all the guys out there, please...ask us to dance even if we're not all alone. Chances are, the three or four girls together are still there in a group because they're too shy to ask anyone to dance themselves and would literally jump at the chance to dance with anyone willing to ask!
Ahh, yes, but that is exactly my point! If those three women are too shy to ask someone to dance they should try to make it was easy and un-intimidating as possible for someone to ask them to dance!
And back to the dating analogy again, I have advice for all the guys who do have the guts to approach that group of three women. Don't ask one of them to dance! What if that one woman doesn't want to dance to that specific song? What will you do, trickle down ask? Would you like to be the second or third person in a group to be asked to do something after the number 1 and 2 choices have already turned down the askee?
Instead, ask "Would any of you like to dance?" That way the person who really wants to dance will say yes, and when you return your first dance partner to the group perhaps the person who hates that song will ask you to dance for the next song!
