I am meting a potential competition partner tonight -- any suggestions about what to ask? we're both very new, but want to try a competition

Ahh, tryouts! They're kind of like dating or a job interview, but with out the promise of romance or a paycheck!

First of all you should just chit-chat and see if you think you even like being around the person. Then dance and see if you think you and the person can work together. A friend of mine (quite a high-level competitor) gave me some very good advice once: he said that the ONE thing you can fix in a dance partnership is the actual dancing, so make sure you check out the other aspects of the partnership too.

Anyway, after you've danced a bit you can talk about goals...what competition would you shoot for, or would you decide to take lessons and practice together for a few months first and then pick a competition? What about schedules? How many days a week can you practice, and where? If you can't plan to get on a consistent schedule then it's going to be very difficult -- each partner has to make space in their life to cooperate with the other to make time for lessons and practicing.

You should talk about how many lessons to take, and from whom. One lesson a week is probably plenty for now -- you want to give yourselves time to practice what you are learning, of course. If you're not sure who you want to take lessons from, agree to try a short list of teachers and then pick together from there. It's important that both partners want to work with whoever will end up coaching them.

Try to get a sense of how the person feels about dancing and how it fits into their life. Sometimes if one person is really danced obsessed and the other is more "take it or leave it" then that can can cause friction. Most of all try to get a sense if you like being around that person enough to spend time and money on lessons and practicing. You don't have to adore the other person, but since most people dance competitively as a hobby it's better to find someone who you can work with at least on a "pleasant co-worker" level than to spend time with someone who annoys you too much.

Is it common for an amatuer partnership to split lesson costs 50/50? Can an argument be made that since it takes more instruction to teach men, the male dancer in the partnership should pay a bigger percentage? I'm a guy, so I just wondered if any women felt that way.

I think it's very common for the two partners to split their lessons 50/50. After all, it is a *partnership*, and one can't really dance without the other.

I know some women gripe about how the men seem to get all the attention on the lesson, but the truth is that any correction given to the leader will help the follower dance better, and vice-versa. I personally think it's rude of a woman to say to the guy "since the teacher spent all the time on you, you have to pay." I mean really...how is that teamwork standing around counting the minutes and pennies like that? HOWEVER, if the guy is starting to feel guilty or whatever then he can offer to pay for extra lessons or whatever, or even suggest he take some privates on his own to get past whatever it is being worked on. By the way, this is true going in the other direction too: if the lady is getting all the attention and she feels like making up for it by paying for some extra lessons or whatever then she should offer. I just don't think it's the kind of thing that partners should expect each other to do, know what I mean?

Sometimes partners work out deals for things, but the usual way is that people split the lessons 50/50.

Laura .Excellent advice there. As a male, and if I was getting most of the attention. Every now and again I would say this one is on me.

thank you - that was all very helpful -

"Is it common for an amatuer partnership to split lesson costs 50/50? Can an argument be made that since it takes more instruction to teach men, the male dancer in the partnership should pay a bigger percentage? I'm a guy, so I just wondered if any women felt that way."

It's a common perception that it takes longer to teach the man in a partnership; thing is there usually isn't much attempt to actually teach the lady anything of comaprable complexity. She gets so she can sort of do it with the teacher than thinks that's the end of the game, when in reality it isn't even the beginning. Ask her to demonstrate his part and him to demonstrate hers... then you'll see who'se really learning.