In response to ballroom_billy's question... I'm not sure if you are a male or female but your opinions were quite helpful.

I did give her a good explanation as to why I cancelled... and for some reasons... she kept feeding me these flattery remarks... which I wasn't convinced of at all.

But for 2 hours straight with an argument like that... I'm like... WHOA.. what's going on here!? However, I have never seen anyone in my life cried like that.

My thoughts are that if you want to remain professional then respect your client's decisions... and don't let one's personal emotions get in the way. However, her emotions got in my way... and I just can't even figure out why why why!!???

Why do you think i'm writing this in the first place? Coz I just can't figure out why the hell she cried!?

But one of your comments caught me off guard... i like how you said... if you were a dancing instructor and enjoyed dancing with a particular student and didn't want him to quit... you would do everything in your might to let him stay.

But during that 2 hour argument... when she kept throwing all of these nice comments to me... I noticed something about her eyes. When i asked her why she wanted me to stay... she would say... you are wonderful. You are a great dancer... but before she could come up with that answer... her eyes move to the left... not the right.

And do you know what they say when the body naturally does that? When your eyes move to the left.. they are being creative... creating things or making up lies... but to the right.. they are being logical and practical but telling the truths.

It's like left handed and right handed people. Left handed people are more creative. Right handed are more logic.
Anybody agree?

ahhh, my friend, you make me laugh. yes, for your info i am a beginning female student. i have to ask- are you left handed or right handed? if what you say about right handed logic left handed creative is true, i would guess that you are right handed. you seem to be very observative.

it is a big possibility that she was making complements up so you would stay. i dont really see wy she would try that hard to keep you as a student though if there wasnt a pressing reason. do you know if she has many other students? if she really needed the money... i dont know- and about the crying, she could be a good actor, or she could have really been upset. from how you described it, i think she was upset. but everything else you say makes me think she just wanted your money. glad my thoughts were helpful!

ballroom_billy

ps- if the screenname threw you off about whether i am a guy ar girl- the billy part is because i am in love with billy idol

anonomous - california...

i was just reading over your resonse to me about her eyes again, and when you say her eyes moved to the left, was it her left or your left? i have never heard that so i thought about it and then realized that you could have seen her eyes move to your left- her right. anyhow, from reading everyone elses responses, i am really starting to think she wants your money. i still dont get why anyone would put up a 2 hour argument like you explained though. unless there really was a good reason... well, everyone is different and maybe she wasnt BSing you with the complements, maybe she was.

Ballroom_billy... I'm glad to make you laugh.... but in response to your questions..... I am right handed and very observative and logical.

Ok let's see... what else.... when I said her eyes moved to the left... it was HER left... NOT my left. This is a very interesting phenomenon and believe it is worth investigating. Naturally our human responses communicate easily through our body languages instead of our voices.

Try doing this... have someone ask you a question.. and in answering it... think of a lie or a creative one.. but just think naturally and let it flow... but then in answering it again... tell the truth but think logically.

For example have someone ask you, "Is Billy Idol your boyfriend?" or any question for that matter... or try asking someone something else.

However, this isn't based on whole truths or half truths... naturally it may work on some people... other times it may not.

But when i had that argument with my dance instructor the other day.... I could definitely tell she was finding ways to make me stay and in order to do that... your mind must think creatively and be able to convince your clients why you should stay. But that takes a lot of thinking and quite simply... creative tactics.

You should try doing it yourself. Oh the wonders of observing body languages. Women are the most complex if you tell me. It takes a lifetime to understand them! Ohhhh! gives me a headache!

you made me smile when you said that bit about billy being my boyfrind...ahhh, if only, if only. !!! anyhow, im glad you had it right about your instructors eyes. in this case, i do think she just wants your money and if you still feel bad you shouldnt... but i am still confused as to the argument. it could just be me though, i am a very (as my cousin says) mean person- but what she doesnt realize is that i am not going to put up a front- if i dont want to talk to someone i just dont talk to them... what i am trying to say is unless there was an extreme reason i needed you to stay a client i would have thought whatev... he doesnt want to dance with me anymore. so that still makes me kind of think there must be some pressing reason. but whatever... it's all good right? you no longer feel bad, you have this figured out... congrats, my friend, congrats.

wait... I see where you are going with this. I can see what you mean if you were my dance instructor and didn't enjoy me as a student you wouldn't mind and dismiss me immediately. Correct?
But if you did mind and tried to convince me towards staying... there must be some pressing reasons. Right? Exactly! That's what I was trying to figure out! Whatever the voice says you can't trust because you have to observe the body languages too!

This is what I call conflicted feelings. Her voice seemed to conflict with her body languages. First I heard the good things but the body languages... especially her eyes were just not right!

So I made my own assumption that she was just doing this business-wise. It's a good thing I cut it off too!

What do you think? and have you figured the eye - left or right phenomenon or tried it on somebody? So is Billy Idol really your bf?

anonymous-California...

unfortunately, billy is not really my boyfriend, i would probably die if he was i would be so happy . although it is a turn off thought that on november 30 he will be 51 . anyhow, i am not saying that if i didnt enjoy dancing with you i would try to get rid of you, but i would not try to hard to keep you as a client. exactly right about the pressing reasons- but she may for some reason need your money badly. i am not too worried about money. if i really needed to i would find another way to get money. but i also think that it is different when you are being paid by someone to teach them. in that case, i would put aside that fact that i didnt enjoy being with the person too much and just teach them... if they wanted to leave i wouldnt stop them unless i REALLY needed to. i guess that i would put up a front is it was in the situation that i was an instructor. odd, i never thought about that. but outside of that i wont put up front. i am not too observative, and i have not yet tried the eye thing, but i shall soon! i think you made the right choice in stopping your lessons with her, but dont stop dancing!!!

farewell,
ballroom_billy

anonymous-California...

i jusst tried the eye thing and it did work. i have to admit, i am surprised. i didnt really believe that it would work. i guess body language (including eyes) does play a big part in reading people. and i have thought about it- even if she did have feelings for you, which would be the reason she wanted you to stay, when you decided to cancel, why wouldnt she have said ok, the contract is gone now, so why dont we go out sometime? just my pov on this situation.

ballroom billy

She cried because she didn't know how she was going to pay her rent that month or put food in front of her kid.

You know, I think I need to write a column for beginners, Beginning Dance 101. First thing to talk about would be the fact that teachers will ALWAYS tell you that you are a pretty good dancer and have lots of potential. How much business would they do if they were honest with their students?

"You know, you really stink as a dancer. You have absolutely no rhythm. You've stepped on my toes fifteen times in the first half hour and your breath smells like something out of a Freddy Kruger movie!"

Yeah, let me sign right up for a full series.

anonymous, it's called "tact", it's called "being pleasant" and it's called being a "people person." And way too many students interpret all of that as being "she must really like me."

My teacher does like me (she can't hide that fact), she likes to dance with me (only God knows why), but for some ungodly reason is madly in love with her husband. And her husband is an okay guy, so I guess I need to find some other woman to foist my affections on. And in the words of Maverick, a dance studio is a "target rich environment."

dgcasey.... oh man... I am cracking out... that was funny. I mean... realllllllyyyy funny.

Did you know I checked out her left hand for any indication if she was married. Actually there was no ring on her left hand ring finger... but she did wear one on her right hand ring finger. Not sure what that means though. But could be married... could not... you may never know.

So a dance studio is a 'target rich environment'... hmmm... not sure if that is biased but in some ways I agree. I see mostly elders or seniors around the dance studios and rarely college students because as you may know... it's expensive purchasing more and more lessons. I also spot lots of widows. I'm not sure if the widows are lonely and need a companion to hold onto... but to me it sounds like that is what it's all about.

But let's switch it around for the female instructors and male students. I wonder how that works? Like you said... being pleasant... a people person... or just throwing all of the flattery remarks... can actually convince the male student to take more lessons. But then again... are the men there because they're lonely or want to learn to dance and get more dates?

I didn't find a single male or female student who were very good looking coz most were just plain (Don't want to say ugly though). However, the male and female instructors were better looking than anyone in the dance studio. Again, another tatic they use to sell their lessons.