Has anyone ever had a relationship with their dance instructor....I know he likes me and he knows I like him too..We act like girlfriend and boyfriend---and everyone at the studio can tell too-----HELP

I know the instructor needs to be nice----but I can tell the difference...Also, you may be thinking maybe he's trying to be a good salesman....However, he has given me passes to free group lessons and passes to the dance socials....He always begs me to go to these socials---and makes me promise...He doesn't do this with anyone else---as far as I can see...He pushes me on the dance floor and expects more and more from me....He's a really great teacher....Recently, I've been made his last appointment of the day and he asked if that's okay ---if it was too late and if I had someone waiting for me at home....You tell me???

This is a common question, some people develop crushes on their teacher and it is easy to see why with the amount of time spent on lessons and dancing closely. without knowing the background or how long you have been dancing - a few points to consider would be do the other students complain about being allocated a late timeslot perhaps that is why you were asked if you have anyone waiting for you some people have families or other commitments, do you regularly go to the social events? Have you made many friends at the studio? It is easier to enjoy yourself when you have developed friendships you won't be sitting around all night waiting for someone to ask you to dance.Ask for a progress check and ask how is your dancing going to get an idea why he is pushing you to get out on the floor, the more you get out on the floor the more confident you will be. Aside, it is difficult to build a rapport with each and every student perhaps you have common ground and your teacher feels they can talk to you, or you show more interest than some other students. Do you know anything personal about your teacher? for example,is he in a relationship. Also remember everyone is there for a different reason some people want to learn the steps or are more interested in the social side or would like to compete. I think its important to keep an open mind.

This can be so very complicated. Relationships are complex and add the element of money and you may have a recipe for disaster. Your teacher whether it be for dance, piano, or political science has the responsibility to teach you in a safe enviornment where he or she does not exploit your eagerness to please or to learn. Many times people (women especially) take dance lessons becasue they are bored or lonely and are looking for something to add to their lives. Often their children are grown or they don't have children and have a lot of disposable time. Teachers walk a fine line between being a friendly companion for an hour or two in the studio and becoming over involved with someone who pays them to spend time with them. I've seen instructors become far too involved with their students, date them, hook them up with dates, go drinking with them, call everyday etc. And I have yet to see any of these situations end well. I am not saying that the relationships are formed out of malice. Just the opposite. It is human nature to want to spend more time with someone you like. I think however more instructors need classes on professional ethics. We have a responsibility to our students and we breach that when we become too involved. If your relationship is destined to really grow, I suggest that the teacher help his/her student find a new instructor so as to eliminate the ethical concerns one would have about the situation.

Both of the earlier comments should be very helpful to you. There's plenty to think about here but before you go jumping to conclusions about what he wants... ask him. Please, just be up front. At your next lesson ask him if he is interested in more than a business relationship. If he is, and you agree bring it to the attention of the studio owner for advice on how to handle it. They owner may suggest assigning a new teacher or leave it be so long as business stays business and pleasure is taken elsewhere. If he isn't interested in a personal relationship, I'm sure he'll be flattered that you asked... and it may ease the tension between you. Honestly, is always the best policy.

of course you can! but that is really your decision. however, how sure are you that he's really interested in you as somebody other than as a student?

i agree with 6delights when she/ he says that all you need to do is to be honest and upfront about it .. though i prefer that you don't be too brazen about it.

or would you rather just go to another dance school and see if he looks for you when you just drop out of sight?

good luck. hope you find your mr. right.

of course you can! but that is really your decision. however, how sure are you that he's really interested in you as somebody other than as a student?

i agree with 6delights when she/ he says that all you need to do is to be honest and upfront about it .. though i prefer that you don't be too brazen about it.

or would you rather just go to another dance school and see if he looks for you when you just drop out of sight?

good luck. hope you find your mr. right.

Thanks guys for all your help...He finally asked me out on a date...We are going to take it one day at a time...We aren't going to let anyone know from the studio....because it just wouldn't be professional.