I agree with terence. You should continue to dance. I feel the same way sometimes, but the times I can dance with a good dancer and the way it makes me feel, are worth dancing with the bad ones. Nothing ventured, nothing gained.

Often, just one good dance makes your whole evening. Failing even that, one positive is: when wondering what of a dozen steps the man is vaguely indicating to you, think of how much "listening" (a.k.a. following) practice you're getting!

Nevertheless, may you soon find partner(s) with whom you can as you say "fly" without ever wanting to land. ["...once you have found [him] never let him go..."]

It isn't just about how YOU feel or what dancing does for YOU, it's about connecting to another person on a very high, even spiritual level, through the music and using this connection to share together the moment that is created by dance.

I had the same teacher for years. I loved him. He was my best friend and a fabulous mentor. When he decided to go on with his life and persue other dreams he had, I thought I would die! Nobody, not even my boyfriend who has been dancing for 10 years + flies me around the floor like my former teacher did, not even my current instructor. Do I long for what my former teacher and I had, yes. But he taught me more than how to fly around the floor. He taught me that to be a better partner, you have to be a better person first and that means understanding that social dancing is not a competition. It is about connecting to each other and rising above the pettyness of the ordinary.

You were given a phenomenal gift in your dancing. Instead of thinking about why nobody can give you what you want, think about how you can give someone what you have. You'll be surprised at the experience and the joy you find through dance.

Awesome answer bolero2aerosmith!

If you live in the US, you have the option of pro-am dancing. You can take lessons from and compete with a professional dancer as your partner. It's a great way to always be able to dance at your very best (since your partner is always better than you!).

Because there are no dances were we live, we go to a lot of different places away from were we live to dance.
Some places we go, the men without partners are similiar to your description. Other places they are very good dancers. Maybe trying different locations to find were the good dancers are may help. if you tell us your location, someone may have some recommendations for you.

Thank you all for your input. I know this is probably going to rub some of you the wrong way, but it IS about me and what I want. I don't go out to a dance thinking "how can I make these people have fun with me." I go out to have a good time and hopefully dance with some good dancers. I am not interested in touching someone's soul.

I have danced pro/am many times in the past but due to finances, dancing pro/am is not an option for me at this time.

I do live quite a ways from the hub of things, but I do travel up to 2 hours to get to a dance almost every weekend. One night it took 3.5 hours to get to a dance because of traffic and an accident.

My last partnership was a pro/am partnership, but I moved out of state for it and I was so homesick I had to move back to my home state. I miss my teacher/partner very much.

Reading through the replies to my post and after much thought I have decided that I will attend some social dances, but I am probably going to limit it to once every month or so instead of three nights a week/weekend. I probably need to find another hobby.

I live very far away from the hub of things. I drive about 2 hours a few times a week to just take lessons.

I can't imagine being happy without b/room...I quit for 6 months and I was so depressed and anxious that I went back.

Let me give you a suggestion that works for me. I travel to workshops over the weekend. That way I don't get too lonely for home, I still get my dance and I am with other dance enthusiasts (I'm sure I spelled that wrong). You tend to work with good teachers, meet a lot of great people and you can keep your hobby without the frustration of lousy partners.

I can't tell you the tears I've shed over b/room, and I think it makes it something powerful...simply because it has the ability to evoke these feelings in me...and in others. Nothing else creates this spectrum of emotions for me, absolutely nothing.

Don't give up.

It is difficult for a lady. As a man dancing socially I keep it simple but interesting by that if I were doing a Cha instead of of the usuall two lots of Basics Three New Yorks Spot Turn Three Hand to Hand and a Spot Turn. 12 Bars. The same steps are more interesting if the group is cut down to six bars. Front and Back Basic. One New York a Spot Turn one Hand to Hand. Spot Turn. 6 bars. Add Two Under Hand Turns to finsh 8 bars. It only takes one run through for the average lady to know what is coming next. I also use this group in the Rumba. Waltz is easy if you stick to an Open Imputus Weaves Spin Turn. Reverse and a Whisk and a Wing. Chasse Finish.Passing Change . All very simple and easy to lead if you were a male which you are not. I hope this might help some person though. The idea is you must have a simple routine to call on and not to go on the floor with no idea what you are going to do.

I'm sure many of us have been there (as pro-am dancing is very expensive, and amateur partners are hard to come by). I would never consider giving up dancing though! Sometimes you have to compromise in life! I gave up competitions (because it is so expensive, and I can't travel that much) in order to keep dancing with professionals (so I could continue to improve). I've found I don't need that kind of "validation" anymore...I just care about the quality of my dancing. I too was having a problem finding a partner without feeling held back. This is a sport for me. (Social dancing is entirely a different thing)