Hello, my name is Amber and I've been dancing for about 6 months. The studio I dance at has recently moved me up from a social student to a bronze level student...

When I started dancing early last fall, my partner was my boyfriend of two years. We were taking lessons as something fun, solely to learn and know something fun. We took about a month off from dance in November when we broke up. We started dancing again and have been doing well (hence the recent "promotion" to learning towards bronze level.)

Since out bronze lessons started, I've felt really bothered about dancing with my partner. When I dance with my instructor, we really "fit" well. He's much shorter than my partner and less "lanky." Of course my instructor is light-years ahead of me in dancing, and my partner is just learning... but I feel really horrible about feeling great dancing with my instructor and disliking it when I dance with my partner... is this okay?

I need some general advice from other ballroom dancers. Because I'm learning, not really performing, and not competing right now... is it okay to be learning to dance with someone you don't really DANCE well with??
I suppose I've been learning under the assumption that learning to dance, as much as it is about the dance TEAM, its about the individual learning as well. And about being able to follow... anyone.

HELP!!! Is it okay that I'm learning to dance with, and will end up testing Bronze with someone I don't "click" with... at least at this point in my dancing?

Also, should I share these feelings with my instructor and see what he has to say?

Deja Vu - Figure 8. Welcome to dance!!
Your feelings are quite normal. And, you hit the nail on the head, per se with your very own observation, that your instructor (it seems) is light years ahead of you in dance and "fits" better. You are learning. And dance is a process of progression - in terms of what you want out of it.
I found that my instructors were easy to talk to - especially the ones with years of experience and competition.
I find certain partners I just "fit" with and excel, while others I seem to struggle dancing with be it an individual at the studio, my regular partner or an instructor. Dance is a garden variety of progression, have fun along the way (-:

Any beginner will feel better dancing with a pro than with another beginner. It has more to do with the level of both your skill at leading and following than anything else.

It is a bit easier to feel good when you are compatible in height and body type with your partner. But those differences can be overcome.

So, you really shouldn't compare how you feel dancing with your pro to dancing with any beginner.

As far as I can see, there's no problem going on learning with your partner. There are several approaches to dancing--some people see it as a team effort, some focus more on their individual progress. Depends on your situation and which you enjoy more. Neither one is "right."

I wouldn't share your feelings as you've expressed them here with either your pro or your partner. But if you can pinpoint some specifics about what is less comfortable with your partner, then you might bring them up. Your pro might be able to show you how to make adjustments in your hold, for example, to allow for the height difference.

Do you have an opportunity to go to socials or practice parties where you have a chance to dance with different people? That would be very good practice for your following skills.

When you first learn a new move or new technique working with a partner, it is not going to be very good or much fun in the beginning. Key is practicing and getting to the point were you can both do it well. Since the teacher has the technique or move down pat, it is going to be easier to dance with the teacher at first.

Also insure you are being taught moves you will enjoy doing together. Our teaches were really good at understanding us and presenting things we would enjoy doing, once we got them down fairly good.

Its the old " my teacher feels better "
syndrome.
As Profs. , its a comment we hear frequently-- I hope we do !!-- point-- majority of the men beginning at your +-level, are having far greater difficulties with the concepts, than are you.

Time will rectify the problem-- you must be patient -- encouragement and patience-- is what he needs at this time .

Figure8, I just had this conversation with my instructor this morning, though with a slightly different variation. He mentioned to me that my wife always says the lead and solid frame, etc. always feels so much better when she dances with him (the instructor). But he said that I usually have a good handle on the footwork, but not the leading -- until the step sequence is perfected and we both know what we're supposed to do and how it feels. As terence2 points out, it is very common for a learner to feel more comfortable when being shown a technique or step by the instructor. That's part of the process and what they are supposed to do. It helps their students get better and it also helps promote future sales. I would say you have to give your partner time. I would insist that he practice and retain what he learns. I see that as the major difference at our studio. The men who are decent dancers remember everything they learn and are even better at it for the next lesson. Those who are average or poor tend to forget what they learned, not really care too much about it and feel just fine in thinking they are doing their spouse or girlfriend a favor by being there. If you pick up on any of those traits, you'll know what you have to do in regards to improving your dancing.