We were talking the other day and I got to say some things in sort of detached "by the way" sort of tone. She couldn't believe it and hadn't suspected a thing. Anyway, it's not going anywhere at least not right now, we're good friends, and even though those feelings won't necessarily go away things are more relaxed now.

well, seems like a real problem, babe!
Actually I had the same feeling. When my partner located to my country to dance with me, I understood to have been fallen in love with him as soon as I first saw him in the train station))).Then I let him understand he is cute to me.....Paying a compliment, saying thanks for what he/she does, smiling really helps. Now we are the couple not only on the dance floor). I wish you good luck and do sth, it is better to fail and be sorry than not to try and be even more sorry..........

Ask her out, why araid? At max she'll say no.
You must do something, act. If she say no, probably she wont dance with no more and you have all the time to look at her all around and not dancing.
If she accept, could she'll be your girl and your dancing together will be good.

better not think !
thinking stops people making decisions !
What's meant to be will always find a way.
Trying to forget someone you love is like trying to remember someone you never met...

I have somewhat of the same problem. I have an instructor who is attactive inside and out. He has a girlfriend and I am married. My husband has no interest in dancing. I have been dancing for six months and love it and am now competing. I don't want to ruin my relationship with my instructor because I think we work well together but am thinking of finding a different instructor. I do wish I had a husband that like to dance though. Any suggestions?

Well defenseless,

You need to think carefully! If you ask her and she says yes, what is more important? Dancing or a relationship? If both work then your lucky!

And if she says no, what will you do? Keep dancing or find a new partner?

You need to think what affect your feelings will have on your partnership and decide what you really think is important!

Also, as someone has said, women often don't realise what they are doing to attract men. So just to be nice, I suggest you keep your eyes away from places where she is not wanting you to look!

Good luck!

Keep on Dancing,

Sami.

Hi,

I think it is totally 100% wrong and if any girl or lady thinks that they do these things without wanting to attract a guy. she is kidding herself.
Every single girl/lady is beatiful and every single man is only a guy and cannot control his emotions and will obviously lose consintration. Unless you gay!!!! and that i detest 100% alsi
i think that dancing these dances should be done with the person you MARRIED to not someone you even just dating and crap like that.
Its totally imoral.

BTW: She is totally messing with you, and has no morals.and you are a total dim wit or a pervert.

Whichever one its just WRONG man WRONG!!

randomchick..........your response seems inappropriate to me.......first you accuse all women of being teases, then you blast gays........then you state that dancing with anyone other than your spouse is immoral......then you go on to call people dim wits and perverts. I think this web site is for real dancers to express their concerns and questions....and not to be used as a forum to degrade others. Are you a dancer? If you are, how do you learn if you detest teases, gays and anyone that dances with one other than their spouse? This response must be a joke........not funny and very offensive.

Hey there,
I have an issue aswell with my instructor of about 6 months. I like her a lot...I absolutely love her personality. I thought nothing of it at first, as it would seem normal to have feelings when you're close to someone so often...but I've never felt like this about anyone for this long.

I understand that part of her job is to build a good relationship with the student to keep him coming.

She always asks all sorts of personal questions and the average joe might think that she is interested in him. Even though she hasn't told me and avoids the subject, I recently found out that she is in a relationship with another instructor.

Do you think it's morally right for instructors to try to get attached to a student on such a personal level, even though their intent is to keep the student coming?

I thought of changing instructors or maybe changing schools (I'm locked in here for another 6 months) but I'm not sure what I should do here.

No its not morally right. The instructor is trying a typical tactic to get you attached and feelingin like someone special and that there is a possibility of something between the two of you down the road. Don't let it happen to you, find another instructor. I know it is hard to leave her, but it will be best. If she is interested in you, she WILL tell you. Don't misinterpret it for something it isn't.