You're right. I think pro-am has received a bad rep because it is most often associated with the chain schools which suck every last penny out of unsuspecting and gullible women. I'm appalled at the cost of their pro-am experiences and I wonder why they pay out without question. I suppose the emotional attachment is overpowering their common sense. Most of the chain pros are gorgeous young men who have learned how to be polite and attentive. I have no problem pulling the plug when I reach the limit of what I'm willing to spend. But then I have a husband who loves to dance but due to his busy career, can not find the time to practice and compete. I don't need a pro to dance, so perhaps that makes all the difference.

The sad fact is that, for most women, pro/am limits their development as dancers because they never truly learn to follow, a skill that is not nearly so easy as many seem to believe.

Pro/Am makes no sense at all for men who will never learn to lead by dancing only with professionals.



jj

I think the distinction to be made here is whether the amateur (man/woman) dances pro-am in order to learn (lead/follow) or to win hardware.

Should the lady pro simply refuse to follow through with an intended figure unless her amateur partner gives a clear and consistent lead? Refusing gives strong feedback to the student but does tend to make her/them look bad.

I've seen a man who can only dance in time to the music with his pro partner, but with not a single amateur partner. He wins his share of trinkets and must spend a fortune on them.

I'm one of those lowly pro-am ladies of which you speak somewhat dismissively- and I'm pro-am NOT because of a reluctant Significant Other. I'm pro-am because it means I can "own" my own dancing and competitive failures, mistakes and short-comings. When I place last in a competition, I don't have to worry that I wrecked the goals of a partner. If I don't place last, well, then I thank my pro for lugging me around the floor. Either way, I pay my pro and go home without any burden of guilt.

Twice I've had an amateur partner - one didn't have the funds to take as many lessons as we'd need to progess and be competitive, and the other found that competition just wasn't what he wanted to do. Now, if I'd picked up the entire lesson tab in the first instance - how is that really different from pro-am? It's still paying a man to dance with me, isn't it???

I don't quite understand your distinction between professionals and non-professionals with regard to the development of dancing skills. I daresay there ARE pro-am ladies who can follow a non-professional - she can probably follow a highly-skilled amateur as well. But maybe she can't follow an inexperienced professional or a lower-skilled amateur. And I'll bet there ARE pro-am men who can lead highly-skilled amatuer women, but who can't lead inexperienced amateur women or inexperienced professionals.

And - gasp! - I've seen some amateur women and men who can't follow or lead anyone other then regular partner - even if they are dancing with a pro. Really, it seems a matter of the skill of the people involved, rather than purely an "economic" distinction of pro or am.

But, what do I know? Because I'm nothing more than a pro-ammer, you've already written me off as someone who can't follow anyway, and wouldn't know a good lead from a bad lead. That's fine.

But please, don't patronize me or feel sorry for me. Instead, be grateful that I don't impose my poor dancing skills on amateur men, no matter their skill level.

You raise a couple of very interesting points. (1) finding a compatible amateur partner is a significant consideration. (2) A person's skill as a partner does not necessarily connect to their being a pro or an amateur. There are good/and bad leaders and followers among pro and amateur ranks.

After a certain amount of training, I could follow other professionals as well as amateur leaders who knew how to lead. If your leader knows how to lead and you know how to follow, that's how it works. Of course, I've even seen pros misread a lead from time to time, so I don't feel terrible when I do it. Don't sell yourself short! We all have days when the dancing is yucky...

I found that one of the keys to my improvement was to stop thinking in "student" mode and to try to dance more like a partner. I realize that for the most part, my pro knows more about dancing than I do, but I'm determined to hold up my end. I consult his partner from time to time when I need a woman's perspective, as well as attend workshops whenever I can. I am also very open to suggestions from more experienced followers. Finally, I am a voracious video watcher. I always dance better if I watch videos before going to bed the night before a lesson.

All the best in your dancing--do what you can, till you can do what you want!

DancingQueen, thank you for your suggestion to think more like a partner. That makes a lot of sense to me. You're right - I'll never be able to dance like he does, but I can sure try to hold up my end by doing the simpler steps that we do together as best as possible! I've never wanted him to drag me around the dance floor anyway. Thanks!

No sponge-baths? :(

I don't understand the context/reference of your question/comment on sponge-baths.

Oh, yes--It is expensive! I live in NY and have done my share of showcases and pro/am competition. At one point, I had 3 instructors. However,I was blessed with three men who wanted me really learn to dance! I don't have a husband or regular social dance partner so I have to follow well--otherwise no one will ask a second dance. I have never had a problem following (except for the two crazy old men who used to always ask me to dance at the Mark and at Irving Plaza). I've Hustled with strangers at Lincoln Center, I've Waltzed with anonymous businessmen at the Viennese Opera Ball, I've Lindyed with old dudes at Irving Plaza and did Salsa at a Puerto Rican wedding--and I know it's because I had good teachers. I did search for an amateur partner because I wanted to try competing at a more reasonable cost. However, I was not as driven as some of the guys who answered my ads! Now I do pro/am and competition is something I do once or twice per year. I enjoy the dress-up aspect, I get great photos for myself and my parents and I have increasingly better videos to watch as I improve each year. My guys have challenged me mentally and physically. I gained serious muscle as I learned to do lifts and tricks and overcame many hangups. Yay for the good guys among pro/am instructors. How would some of us dance without 'em?

They do too!! In the first studio I was ever in I found that the men spent the entire time hitting on the little old ladies.

I understand that they are lonely but some of the boys just seemed like....(I'll just leave this blank you can use your own imagination)

It felt like they were taking advantage of lonely old women. I remember the nausea rising as one explained his relationships with the women who were basically paying for his company. The studio would 'sponsor' dates with the dancers for around $300. An evening of dinner and drinks and dancing...and it just sounded to me like an escort service without a happy ending, though I have a bad feeling one of those could be arranged.

Several of the male instructors got shuffled to other places in the metro area for sexual encounters with their amateurs. Its bad for dancing when that's par for the course.