I saw this question on another site and thought that it was interesting. The scenario is not at all unrealistic; I've faced it myself more than once.

Let us suppose that you have been working with the same partner - amateur or professional - for some time and the two of you have made steady and noticeable if unspectacular progress.

One day, a much more experienced and renowned dancer approaches you, tells you that you have true potential, and asks to become your partner.

You know that dancing with this person would allow you to progress faster and significantly elevate your status in the ballroom dance community. However, you also understand that your current partner has been loyal and diligent and would have difficulty replacing you.

The question is obvious. Would you be comfortable abandoning a partner simply because of your own ambitions?

In my case, I was familiar with each of the ladies making this request and politely turned them down for reasons other than ethics (i.e. I wouldn't have accepted them as partners even if I had none at the time).



jj

It happens frequently in the Comp. world at Amat level ( even in pros ) .
There have been several recent " changes " at Prof. and Amat levels.
Partnerships are just that.. nothing more.. nothing less .( in some cases ).

Only recently has it become painfully obvious that my partner and I (ams) have very different perspectives and goals for dancing, and I don4t know if this will affect us in the long run or not. It was definitely a smack in the face that still stings once in awhile, but as of now, I4m in it for better or worse, and I don4t see anyONE shaking us up, and just about anyTHING that could happen has, and all I4ve needed is a 4dance vacation4 for a month. So, not an intelligent or even applicable answer, but... there4s some muddling for ya.

PS- I should also add that we do not compete, and I don't really want to. Not sure if he does and is just trying to be nice about it or not.

I went through a partnership breakup last year and - even if you're the one making the decision - it can still hurt a lot.

Still, I believe that a woman who works hard at dancing - social or competitive - will have no real problem finding a partner.

Good luck.



jj

In the competition world it often happens, partnerships have to, I will use the term re-invent themselves. After being top performers for a number of years they realize that there has to be a change otherwise there will be a sudden decline in their ability to reach the final rounds. It probably has nothing to do with their dancing ability which is as good as it ever was. They have simply worn out their image.

Can you have more than one partner? Be practice partners with one? In the Washington, DC/MD/Northern VA area men are so scare I know of one who dances with 4 women! Myself in my beginning years I danced with one guy who only wanted to dance hustle, with the guy I was dating (later married and who became my serious and only dance partner for 23 years who then later dumped me), one who only wanted to dance in a showcase doing international waltz and would only take one private lesson a week! So I danced with 3 guys at one time! My then-boyfriend was dancing with his competitive dance partner.

Now I am dancing with a guy who is an American style dancer whose interests correspond about 60% with mine but we work well as far as when we are available to dance (I have now remarried but to a non dancer; and no, he will never be a dancer.) However, I am also looking for an international modern dancer to dance 2x a week at two international modern-only practices. He is aware of this. He takes private lessons with 3 women teachers a week and we take a lesson in international together where he gets 80% of the lesson so pays 80% of the cost. We practice 2 to 4 days a week. With the American coaches he takes from he works on showcases, not the technical mastery of dance I am most focused on as well as he goes to dance camps every 3 months (mediocre teachers and dancers...according to him!).

So I am the one approaching the guys at international dances.... my partner and I do not go to together on Saturday nights as well as writing to gentlemen on www.dancepartner.com

Loyalty is good to a point but you also have to be true to yourself. If you can, try to do both if you have the time!

Foxtrot Blonde

I think, after mulling it over, that if one is honest, realistic, and open about their goals with partnering- AND the partner AGREES, then there shouldn't be a problem. It's a shock when after ten years, someone says "Ok, I'm throwing you over for this one because s/he's better"... instead of "I've gotten an offer, and remember when we talked before, about how if one came along... well..."

But if everyone's ok with it, heck yeah, collect 'em, race 'em, trade 'em!

PS: Someone needs to fix the apostrophes. They are being replaced with numerals.

Partners get "dumped" for any number of reasons. Gentlemen are so scarce in the U.S. that it is far more likely for the lady to be "dumped". I'd be more impressed with JJ's freedom to be so choosy if he were a lady! (Just being honest, JJ. You sounded a bit smug).

With all due respect, slowfox, I'm not sure that you understand what you're writing about.

In Atlanta, there are virtually no available women because they're all doing pro/am. They're doing so not because of a shortage of men but because local studios steer them into that activity for financial reasons.

You can come to Atlanta and attend classes at various studios for a while. You'll quickly see that men outnumber women at these classes 80% of the time.

As far as my "freedom to be so choosy," I'm free to drive 120 miles one way to Chattanooga two or three times every week to work with a good partner.



jj