1. Spell-check. I can't be terrible to you if I don't understand what you're saying. Don't play the second-language card. Anybody called "asian hottie" in half-1337 is sand-bagging.
2. Take homework seriously and don't pro-cras-ti-nate. A good work ethic might get you through community college and into retail. Or low-end cosmetology.
3. Never reveal potentially identifying information on the internet. It just makes the dream of choking people who post things like this slightly more in reach.
4. Have one of the smart kids check over your paper and rewrite it. You'll make friends who might help you later in life when you need to borrow five hundred bucks at the check-advance.
5. Take your birth-control religiously. Food stamps don't buy toilet paper, and all the local parks got that stuff padlocked anymore.
6. Try *not* to work either counter or drive-up at Jack-in-the-Box. Self-repetition and the absence of the second fried taco is *really* annoying.
Hope this helps.