Cyd,
We are not talking about people who are already dancers.
We are talking about men who are asked to go out and try to impress their wife when the wife is already far ahead, and when she is already dancing with men who are well established.
If you think a little slogan about "what should be, can change what is", more power to you.
However, in reality, most men have egos that are easily brused. Most men don't want to look worse, (Or in this case not nearly as polished.), than the other men in the room. (Espically in front of their wives.)
It is easy for an established male dancer to say that he isn't competing with anyone.
On the other hand, if your team is playing like the Washington Redskins, and you are schedualed to play the New York Giants, you might not feel so non-competive.
I bet if you were one of the Redskin players, you would want to play a little better than you have been,--- if you wife was watching.
The male ego gets us into a lot of trouble. However, just wishing it away, isn't going to change it.