I am a newcomer to the dance scene and have a great deal of difficulty relaxing when dancing with my instructor. I've taken lessons for about three months. I am a somewhat shy person by nature but have no problem dancing with fellow dance students as far missteps, nerves, etc. Being 5'7", slim and large busted I have problems maintaining correct posture, which I'm working dilegently to improve. It seems that I think about posture every waking moment now and feel that my posture has improved some in just this short time. I take group lessons and get very tense the moment my instructor decides to dance with me. Each time he begins by correcting everything from my head postion to my toes before we even begin which is what I believe he is supposed to do, but for some reason, I get tense. Then we begin to dance and I blow it. I believe that I'm thinking so much about technique that I forget the steps. When I'm dancing with fellow students, I probably think more about having fun and just getting the steps right. I took a private lesson with my instructor to try to learn to relax with him, but wasn't even able to look him in the eyes while we were dancing. Should I just stop worrying about technique so much and concentrate more on getting my feet right for now or should I try to work on everything at once? I've really been bitten by the "ballroom dancing bug" and feel my desire to dance well far exceeds my abilities Thanks in advance for any advice or suggestions on ways to relax besides drinking two margaritas before class which probably would throw my balance off more. (just kidding)

Welcome to my life! I've been dancing for almost eight years, and I teach social dancers, and darned near every time I dance with one of my instructors I get tense! "Relax," they say. "I AM relaxed!" I say through gritted teeth. I don't know that I can offer any tips, except to not worry so much about being perfect and just enjoy the moment.

Newcomer,
Don't worry!! Nervousness is normal when you first start dancing!! Here's my best advice for you: When your instructor corrects your frame, posture, feet, alignments etc. before you begin dancing, remember- he is just trying to get you to develope the HABIT of going through a checklist before you start moving. In the long run, it will make things easier and more comfortable for you and your partner. So here's how to handle the situation now: practice going though the checklist before you start your pattern, then FORGET ABOUT TECHNIQUE while you concentrate on learning your steps. Your instructor knows that it is impossible for the human brain to process so many new and different pieces of information all at once. (He was once a beginner, too!) After you are comfortable with the steps and don't need to concentrate on them anymore, gradually work in the technique while you dance. (And practice, practice, practice patterns on your own as much as possible!) If this doesn't work, and your instructor is indeed a whip-yielding perfectionist, try to talk to him about how you feel. He may not realize that he is expecting too much too soon, and he is probably making other students nervous, too!! If this tactic doesn't work, I reccommend strawberry margaritas... mmmmmmm.... with the little umbrellas of course...

I believe you are trying to think about more than one thing at a time and that is impossible. Think of getting your feet where they need to go only. Just the pattern of the dance. When that becomes automatic you can then add a little techniqe and style. Do you remember when you first started driving? It took 100% of your concentration. Now you can do it without thinking. Dance is the same.

Well, you are definitely not the only one. I have felt the same kind of pressure that you describe. I too had to deal (and still have to) with the shy factor in addition to the "new to the ballroom dance scene" experience. We all want to show our instructor that we are actually learning something by trying to remember and work on the material. I have been going to another studio lately and have been dancing purely for fun, could care less of what people were thinking or saying (well, almost ), i just danced for fun. This taught me to relax on the floor and suddenly i remembered some of the thoughts i learned during private lessons. I am not saying that this is what you should do, only that you are not alone in this situation.