A friend of mine divorced a while back and I have been trying to convince her to learn to dance. Would you mind answering the question: "Why do I like dancing?" I will pass it on to her. Who knows, she just may start.

The below is what I plan to tell her from my own experiences. Yes, it is wordy. Your comments, suggestions, additions, or criticisms will be appreciated. (Well, maybe not the criticisms.)

Why do I like dancing?

Part of the reason is because I sometimes like to stand out in the crowd. It's an ego thing. This is also one of the reasons why I like my work. I like knowing a lot about a little. The same is true for dancing. Most people don't know how to dance. I do. Also, of those who do know how to dance, most know only 1 - 3 dances. I know 9 so I can dance to most music while other dancers have to sit some dances out. There are plenty of people who dance better than me and know more dances. That's okay. When compared to the general public, I think I dance reasonably well and know more dances.

I couldn't dance for 30 years and now I can so there's also a little pride involved with having accomplished something that was very difficult for me to learn. It is nice to come off the dance floor and have someone applaud your dancing. It is nice when a stranger comes up and compliments you on your dancing and wants to know where you learned. It is nice when someone watching you dance goes to the trouble of taking their coaster and writing a “10” on it to show you while you are dancing. It is nice when, after a dance, the lady says: “Gosh, that was fun! Let's do it again!”

I also like being able to guide a lady around the dance floor while maneuvering around other dancers and still dance well. I like being able to give a lady a lead and have her be able to follow it. This is not a chauvinistic attitude. It is acceptance of the traditional "male lead / lady follow" dance roles. If I were a woman I would take pride in being able to follow a lead (especially a poor lead). It's also recognition that the lady makes the man look good when dancing, not the other way around. It doesn't matter that a man can give a great lead if the lady can't follow it. But if the man gives a poor lead and the lady can follow it then they both look good.

While dancing I enjoy being in "sync" with the lady. When this happens we are attuned to the music and to each other's body movements. It has a "flow" to it, which is smooth, comfortable, and relaxed with just the right amount of dance tension and frame. This is probably the most difficult aspect of dancing for me to describe and to accomplish. When this works well we are almost dancing as one.

I enjoy being able to laugh at our mistakes and being able to recover. Being able to recover without others knowing we "stumbled" is pretty cool. It's like having a little secret that only the lady and I know about. If others do know about our mistake, that's okay too. We still recover. We still laugh. We still have fun.

While the dances I know are "structured", they also have some degree of freedom. There is room for some creativity. Some dances have more creative room than others. Partner dancing can create a bond that "ditty-bop" and most line dancing cannot create. I appreciate the fact that structured dancing requires knowledge, keeping the beat, and having the "feel" of your partners dancing. It is more of a challenge than "ditty-bop". And while structured dancing has dirty dancing, it does not have the vulgar dancing that "ditty-bop" has. It is more suggestive than apparent. (Vulgar and apparent are not the exact words I am looking for, but they will have to do. Maybe you will understand what I am trying to say without the precision.)

Dancing is active. You can get the endorphins going with dancing just as well with running or other aerobics. Dancing is a stress relief.

While there is always room for improvement in dancing, you can have fun knowing just the basics. When you know a little more than the basics you have even more fun.

I like to be able to try to dance to the ladies dancing abilities.

While I like being complemented on my dancing, I do NOT like it when the lady compares me with her other partner. Example: A lady and I joined our group after one dance and she immediately asked her partner "Why can't you do that?" I would like it even less if I were the object of her complaint. It's not about what you can NOT do. It's all about what you CAN do.

The purpose of dancing is to have fun. And I do. I think you will too.

Simply put:

1) It's great exercise and just so much fun!

2) A LOT more fun than going to the gym and a lot prettier!

3) The social interaction and making new friends

4) A passionate physical expression of who I am inside

Hoo Hooooo Hoo Hoooooooo

You covered it all...except I couldn't dance for 50 years. Love it now, though!

Once your friend tries it, she probably won't need much convincing.

For the most part, I dance because it's fun. That takes care of about 80% of my reason.

Dance is an expression of music. I connect to songs. If I like it a lot, I make a point to learn the words. If a song has strong emotions in it, I like to "dance the song" to match the music/words. Of course, this is my own interpretation of the song. When I'm on the dance floor, I'll try a different style or pose. If it feels right, then fine. If not, I work at it until I find something that does work.

Dancing is a good tension release. I believe that the mind does have a certain amount of control over one's health. I believe that energy from stress and/or anger can be "channeled" to good use - dancing!

Quite a few years ago, Oprah Winfrey interviewed Michael Jackson on prime time. I made a point to watch the show. She asked him why he danced the way he does. He simply answered (not to quote the exact words), I dance what I feel. I knew in an instant what he meant by that. When I think about dancing, I feel this ball of energy inside. That's the best that I can describe it. Energy has to go somewhere - I just GOTTA dance.

I guess that's why I'm awake at night for 1+ hrs. (ready to put on the dancing shoes) trying to think of a new dance routine for July.

Regards, Hoofer

You can't just say, "Try it, you might like it"?

I like dancing because it feels good. Any exercise releases endorphins, the chemical that makes us feel good. Dancing is much better than "any exercise" because you are doing it with someone else!
Dancing also feels good because, as social creatures, we human beings crave touch. Most people in our culture don't touch other people, but dancers certainnly do!
And every once in a while you get that great dance where everything just clicks and you and your partner do everything just right. The feeling is just incredible!