Well, I have done it.. slept with my dance teacher and now I cant think about anything else. Ok, we had fun, but I do not want a relationship. So what do I do? We are still dancing with eachother, but I feel the magic has gone since I know 'everything' about him.
No one else in the studio know.. I hope. The funny part is that I know about several girls that would love to have a relationship with him. (ok,that make me smile)

Bottom line, I think about him a lot and maybe I am in love, I do not know. I am used to be able to control my feelings, but know I am just frustrated.

I can't see what the big deal is.


I don't mean to flippant but relationships either just sexual or romantic happen. Just because we are in the dancing world doesn't mean we are not human.

This "it is pretty much a general rule that we don't" is a load of rubbish. Show me where in all the texts available that it says that.

I teach and I have slept with women within my studio.

Yes it can cause problems, but if you are adults you should be able to handle any problems that arise.

The "I can't believe I'm doing this with you, because you are such a good dancer and you are my coach" has been said but when it comes down to it, I am only human. It doesn't matter that I'm a good dancer, I have needs just like them, and if I'm attracted to a woman, and the feeling is mutual, it happens. As long as you both understand the consequences of your actions, so be it.

I wish you both the best.

[This message was edited by The Game on 03-03-03 at 08:06 AM.]

Try:
www.ndca.org/information/brochures/NDCAProfCertif120.pdf

Specifically, under section II. Maintain a Professional Relationship.

Subsection B. Physical contact should be professional and appropriate at all times during instruction.

and

Subsection C. A dance teacher should never sexually, economically or otherwise exploit his or her professional relationship with a supervisor, employee, colleague, client or student. Furthermore, sexually oriented jesting and inappropriate contact should be avoided at all times.

and

Subsection D. If the dance teacher is unable to maintain a professional relationship, no matter why, then it is incumbent upon the dance teacher to either terminate the relationship or refer the student to an appropriate professional.

Of course this only applies to those dance teachers who follow the guidelines for professional conduct established by the National Dance Council of America.



I accidently deleted the first part of "The Game"'s message, where he said that we are all human, and cannot control our emotions. I agree with him on that point. We can't control how we feel, and close physical contact (like dancing) can lead to feelings of love (or lust). However, a professional should not give in to those feelings.

Of course, I do not know how I would react if I fell for one of my students.

Student/teacher relationships happen all the time, elsewise the NDCA would not have made avoiding relationships a part of their code of ethics and individual studios would not have policies against them.

Be mature, and decide how you want to move forward.

Lisa, I don't want to burst your bubble, but you need to be very careful here. There are several things at stake:

1. His reputation and job. Some studios will fire teachers for having relations with their students. This could also cost him students.

2. Your dancing. Don't let something like this get in the way! You've already sensed the difference in the dancing relationship. Can you continue to take lessons from him and improve your dancing?

3. Most importantly: you. Some dance teachers have huge egos and enjoy the game of "conquering" their students. This could very well mean absolutely nothing to him...or, he could be in love with you, too. I would have a discussion with him about what his intentions are. If they're in line with yours, then great. If not, best to get it out in the open NOW.

Good luck!

It is pretty much a general rule in the business that relationships like this are forbidden which results in automatic dismissal of the teacher. I don't know what the consequences for the student are as to whether the studio would allow you to continue there or not.

"Dancing is a contact sport; football is a hitting sport" - Vince Lombardi

Thanks for your advices.

I was just thinking, if he didnt mean anything with it, I wouldnt mind a little revenge in terms of letting it out. Assuming he is this ego dance teacher who sleeps with all his students, ofcourse.

However I kind of like him as well, and I do not want him to get in trouble.
We do dance well together and there are advantages such as getting what I want when I want it... But hey, I am just a humble student.

You're nuts !

Classes are business and rarely do business and sexual relationships mix smoothly. Any problem in either will eventually taint both.

I would be enthralled to have my instructor as a full-time partner - but only on the dance floor.

If its not a serious love-match, why risk losing a good teacher over a fling and being the source of gossip?

I wish you luck and some objectivity.

I think you don´t have to be worry about this... If you a re in love with him, thy to have something seriously. I am in thet situation I am a dancing teacher and never before I have tought about have something with one of my students, and now i am on it. Only take in account that he has to dance with everybody, smile, and be nice with all the girls, becasue thois is part of our job, becasue nobody wants to dance with somebody that is angry all the time.

Bye from Mexico