Hi misterb
mpm (measures per minute) and bpm (bars per minute) are the same thing. A 'measure' is simply another word for a 'bar' of music.
In waltz, a bar of music contains 3 beats, and competition tempo for slow waltz is 30bpm.
How to recognise beat 1 of the bar(in any music, not just waltz) is a skill which must be developed. Normally, beat 1 is emphasized. Often there is a low note, or a drum beat on beat 1 - but not always!!
Start with some simple music, where beat 1 will be much easier to identify, and start with waltz music because this is usually the simplest. Count out the beats aloud and tap your hand on these beats. Emphasize beat 1 strongly with your tapping. Eventually, it will become natural. Foxtrot and quickstep have 4 beats in the bar, and beat 1 is again usually the most emphasised, though beat 3 is often also strong. It's not easy!! but you will develop the skill - you're not alone in having this problem. Those who play a muscial instrument have a huge advantage.
As 'quickstep' has pointed out, dancers usually start with a preparatory step or two on beats 3, or 4 as appropriate. But the main task is to identify beat 1.