Neglected. The sooner your partner learns that it is don't look at me, but look at my dancing. Don't go to your audience, make them come to you. Mind games. That incidently is a direct quote from a very successful teacher

I've encountered this "must change but won't" situation before, and there's one very important thing which hasn't been said so far. Does he actually know exactly what to do?. Does he know how to take you with him, and lead you correctly? Can you or your coach give him actual examples of the wrong and correct way to do certain figures? You can't tell a student to "get it right" without explaining how to.
If he knows how to, but won't, then you'll have to grin and bear it. Sorry.

Dream? anon, for most men, it's not a dream, it's a delusion. Most women are always a little self-conscious about how they look, but men ...

we can be fifty pounds overweight, walking out to the mailbox in a pair of bermuda shorts, flip-flops and a t-shirt that doesn't cover our hairy belly button, and when that college cheerleader goes jogging by, we're wondering how she can possibly resist such a fine example of manly representation. Never underestimate the power of delusion.

dgcasey.....A little self-conscious? a 'LITTLE'? No.. you mean A LOT! Not just a little. Women are pressured to looking good. Think of all of those mags and television series that glorify images of beautiful women. Now think of any tv shows you know of that glorify images of women that aren't attractive or overwieght? So how can women resist such fine examples of womanly representation?

Never underestimate the power of self-consciousness.

Now think for yourself... she's beautiful.. but he's ugly and 50 pounds overweight... not that it sets a good example of a couple... but she's faking it all the way!

ok, not all women are pressured into looking good. it depends on the women herself. if she is confident and it doesnt matter to her what other people think of her maybe she doesnt worry about looking good... and do you realize that most of the women showcased im mags and on tv are probably anarexic or half plastic??? i think some women need to realize that themselves too. and maybe the woman isnt faking beauty (if that is what you meant she is faking)- she might just be confident in herself and be beautiful. confidence helps. over confidence can sometimes be... very unhelpful.

yes ballroom_billy... of course.... the women are probably anorexic or half plastic. It's the typical standardization that beauty and sex sells.... so in order to market or profit from anything... this is the way to set a good example for a get-rich-quick scheme.

Sometimes women don't realize that because they think being beautiful is what one should see on daily tv... being hypnotize by it.

You can ask any woman... and she'll find it difficult not to think of herself as beautiful. why? .... sometimes they need some reassurance that they are the most beautiful woman. Usually it's easier if they compare themselves to others and see how they rate on a scale of 1-10. So is it about competition. You bet.

i hate get rich quick schemes... they annoy me. sure you can get rich from them, but what are the catches? anyhow, ask me... i do not think of myslef as beautiful, ugly, fat, skinny- i think of myself as myself. and in my opinion there is no such thing as the most beautiful woman... or the most gorgeous man- everyone's thought's about good looks are different. for instance, i think that liv tyler is very pretty, while my friend completely disagrees. i also think that geeky, skinny guys are sometimes better looking than big buff guys. most people i know are the other way around.but then again, everyone is different... i dont really classify or compare myself, so your competition thing doesnt work for me... sorry. and plus in my opinion, if being plastic makes you beautiful, then beauty itself is fake. please respond with your own opinions... i enjoy talking about opinions... on anything.

ballroom_billy

hey.. i love your responses and don't find it in any way annoying. Just bring it on! Thanks for the correction though..... I knew I was generalizing from my previous post. However, you said it best... it depends on the individual person. Attraction is subjective so everybody has different tastes.

Let's see... I guess people go for plastic as a way to enhance one thing... their confidence. Confidence is key to good relationships and indepedence. Usually this society is bombarded with all the false images of beauty. However.... it sells. Sadly we are the consumers. Even worse... some like it that way. perhaps the majority or minority... but it goes back to one thing...
It depends on the individual person.

But let's just say for now that I think Liv Tyler is HOT.

anonymous...

i am laughing so hard i am crying- no joke!!!!! well, i wouldn't really say liv tyler is hot (i dont think that way about women, sorry) but her father sure is!!! if only he wasnt 58- that's a turn off. anyhow, you have a very good point about self confidence. the thing is for some women they dont have much and they think that being plastic will make them beautiful and appealing to guys... i think it is disgusting. but hey, i have self confidencce and i could care less what people say or think about me so that makes it a lot different for me. i am very passive and ignore it when people make fun of me or talk- i dont need them. for some, they cant let negative comments go or ignore them. so they feel if they fix the "problem" they wont be made fun of. and everyone will like them. there is no way they will fit in with everyone. i think personality is what matters most. if someone does have plastic all over them, but it has made them confident and they are nice and have a good personality, i am fine with them. i may not care to much for their choice of plastic, but whatev works i guess. i think another reason people might get plastic surgery is for might i say revenge? i am not sure if that is the word, but what i am getting at is say their husband wants a divorce, or their boyfriend broke up with them- they think- hey, i'll get a boob job and he'll come running back to me. and yet another possible reason is to fit in- i have found that a lot of things people do are for the previously stated reason (to fit in). ok, well... cant wait for your response.

ballroom_billy

ballroom billy:

interesting... just interesting. Hearing this from a woman's perspective brings a whole new level of discussion. I didn't think that women who wanted plastic was trying to find a way to fit into society or for revenge or fixing the self image problems so people wouldn't say negative things about them.... but all in all... men perceive beauty differently. It is subjective.

There are different reasons women get plastic..... the best way to figure it out would be to ask why they did it in the first place. I hear a lot of times women are going under the knife and before the doctors can do it... they plan for a pre-surgery appointment. Basically just asking why she wants plastic surgery.

I guess most doctors would argue one thing... it is confidence. And in order to fight for that confidence some people feel that surgery enhances self image... and in return making oneself feel better. I know... it's a cruel society but for what its worth... we are all shallow.

I think for women to feel good about themselves is to do what they enjoy doing.. and to stop worrying about their image. Focus on career... focus on politics... the environment... etc. It helps to keep one's mind off the topic.

I guess age to you is a turn off. Some people view it that way... others don't.