And you know what i think? .... Crying is a form of blackmail! No way am a guy like me going to fall for that kind of crap!

I just don't like it when someone like her gets sooo sensitive! I mean whatever happened to equal respect? All of a sudden the guy is the bad dude!

I dont know, none of us know what the two of you said etc... We dont know her.
I have a friend, a very sweet girl who cries under stress. Some people do.

I'd go talk to her again and nicely gently inquire as to why she was crying. Not get drawn into any trade talk but insist on finding out that. Hell just ask her out :P
"You know I have feelings for you and it caused me real pain to see you cry. I dont want to see you sad, but you have to understand I must look after my own feelings too and I can't spend a lot of money on lessons that will only hurt me because of unrequited feelings. But I'd be really happy if we could still see eachother outside the studio..." "How about (lunch/dinner/theatre somtehing anything)" or "How about I pick you up after work some time?"

Damn... and there I was telling myself dont give people dating advice anymore.

But:
I am proud of you. You did the right thing. I think...

You think I did the right thing? Financially wise... yeah I would agree. But emotionally wise... i just couldn't figure out why. I think some women know how to manipulate men into thinking they should do this or that.... making the man realize he isn't making wise choices for himself.

I don't feel the need to talk to her in person and gently inquire as to why she was crying. Why should I ask her out? Remember, I signed a contract that states that members agree not to associate with club personnals outside of the club. I could get sued... I am liable. It's not worth the risk.

These rules or laws were created to help protect club personnals and members from getting into any frenzy debate or arguments.

Didn't you have a contract like that?
and what happened? Are you meeting with the manager today to discuss why your female dance instructor and you are in an emotional argument?

The moment you stopped taking lessons there I take it your contract is no longer binding for what happens from then onward. Contracts are often made to sound as if they were binding for all eternity and many dance studios have this "you pay a one time entry fee for lifelong membership and afterwards only pay for lessons" thing going, but this is just a marketing trick to keep you loyal. They can not force you to stay a member or a student. These kind of contracts usually also come with a "warranty" on side of the studio. They guarante a top standard education (free lessons if you do not learn the stuff they thought you should learn in the set number of lessons) but at the same time you are bound to pay the full set even if you decide to quit early.
But this is double edged, though it intimidates students from leaving, a confrontation means that they have to prove they provided the high standard teaching. And noone needs the publicity of long legal battles. Would you go to a studio currently being sued by its students?
Let's make this clear I am not pursuing such a path myself and am by no means telling you you should. I am merely pointing out that many contracts we sign and that seem daunting are a lot less so under scrutiny.

Completly different thing, but the church of scientology for example had contracts if you went to their seminars in which you bound yourself to "never take legal actions against them and forfeit the right to any legal representation in dealings with them".
Really nice little clause... doesnt stand of course in a court of law because its a right you cannot forfeit but anyway

And you'll excuse me if I dont go into my situatuon

As to why she cried--I don't really know, of course. She could be someone who cries really easily.

But it doesn't necessarily have to do with personal feelings about you. You don't know how much pressure she is under by the studio to sell lessons. It could be she was crying because she'd get in trouble for losing you as a student.

But DON'T feel guilty about that, either. If that's the case, it's completely the fault of the studio for having that kind of sales tactic. And she doesn't have to work there if she doesn't want to.

I hope there are other studios in your area. They are not all like that and I hope you find a good one to continue your dancing.

How can I find a good studio that doesn't have this kind of sales tactic? anything I should look for? And thanks for the reply Ellen and Stavros... sounds like I'm glad I went on this site just to discover a few things myself.

Ellen: Are you also a female dance instructor? If so then maybe you are telling me things from your experiences?

Do you think she cried because of soo much pressure to be under the studio's sales tactic/rules?

let me know what you think

No, I'm not an instructor. I'm just a long time dance student and I've seen a lot!

Most studios have an introductory package that offers a lesson or two for a pretty cheap price. If I were looking for a new studio, I'd select a few that looked promising and take the intro package from them all. You can let them know you're shopping around or not, as you like. The intro lessons will give you a feel for the studio--the atmosphere, the quality of teaching, the sales pitch they give you when you've finished your intro lessons. then you can choose the one you like best.

Personally, I'd look for a teacher who pushed me a bit, rather than one who flattered me a lot!

I don't know how many studios are in your area. Don't feel you have to stick with a chain (Fred Astaire is the other big chain). There are also independent studios, which can be excellent. There's no way to generalize. Some chain studios are great, some bad, and the same is true for independents.

If you're lucky enough to have a bunch of studios in your area, you might also check if the studio specializes in the kind of dancing you want to do. At laest in my area, several studios have carved out specific niches for themselves--one focuses almost entirely on social dancing, one is the place to go if you want to compete in ballroom, etc.

Good luck!

And while you are shopping around as Ellen suggested, remember to go to the practice/studio parties which usually are open to strangers (many studios are very happy to have a man drop in since they might be lacking male dancers). These parties are a great chance to meet other dance students who can share their experiences of the various studios with you - which studio they are taking lessons at now, what they are happy about what not and why they left their previous studio.
And you can hear some interesting gossip. For example where I live one studio has two fantastic instructors who, when it comes to latin, are just fantastic. They really are a reason to choose said studio and to pay a bit more because the studio isn't the cheapest in town. But, should you choose to go there for this reason only, without having talked to various students, what you would not know is that the lady is unhappy at said studio and the competition is busy trying to poach her away... and if she goes so will her partner.

I found that a lot of dancers are happy to talk and share their dance experiences with eager newcomers. And if you know what it is you are looking for are usually happy to point you in the right direction or at least let you know which one is the wrong one.

ok- my opinion on this is that there are 3 possible things that could have happened. she could be , as you said, "blackmailing" you into taking more lessons, or she could have been, like Stavros said, crying under stress, or she could have started crying because she did like teaching you and didnt want you to quit. otherwise why would she have put up that strong of an argument. unless you are her only student and she needed the money badly, i dont see why she would try that hard to convince you not to cancel. this might not help you too much, but i am trying. i'm a very, i guess you could say practical(?) person, so if i was her and was in that situation, if i didnt really enjoy dancing with you that much, i would have no problem with you canceling. i mean, to me, if someone wants to cancel and i dont really need them, let them cancel. and being a woman, i actually agree with you on the equal respect thing. i dont know why she would have turned you into the bad guy. you didnt do anything wrong. but maybe she would like an explanation of why you canceled? she could be extremely sensitive. some people are just that way. i have a cousin who is and she cries over anything- it gets quite annoying- but if you try to be kind (fairly hard for me since i usually just say what i feel like saying) and give her an explanation she is fine.