Thanks to all who have replied... dancer, ellen, and jennyyang80.

Actually you won't believe this but my female dance instructor and I have been dancing for 2 and a 1/2 weeks! Not a year or two... just a couple of days in a year!

I must say... yes... it was frustrating to be involved in all of this drama. I'm not sure if she is unstable or overly emotionally involved with her job or has a crush or whatever complicated issues that may arise... but for once I would like her to be a little bit more direct. Why do you think I'm writing here in the first place!? So complicated and gives me a headache... AAAAAHHHHHHHH !!!!

Let's say she was a little bit overly emotional... but even though a crush is a definite possibility... any signs I should look for?

She may be a grown up... coz I know for the fact that she is 29 and I am 27... but for once in my life... I just never thought she actually cry over something as complicated as this.

I appreciate your input... they were helpful. I would really like to get more into this... but just can't figure out why. Only thing I found interesting is that neither of you said you would cry after losing a male student. But why her?

And what is overly emotional? What is the definition of that? How is a female overly emotional? On what issues? Crush issues? Do any of you ever feel overly emotional over things that relate to crushes? materialistic things like cars or jewerlies?

Curious and Confused

On second thought... let's say she wanted to manipulate me into taking more dance lessons because she knew at that moment I was only going to come in that day to sign a contract to quit.

I tend to think it could be business related but even if it was... then she must be some good actress putting on a show by just crying! I could even give her an Oscar Nomination for that!

I still find this discussion interesting though. By the way... dancer... how much do you make hourly or yearly? I want to know if being a dance instructor makes you happy... but also financially stable?

If you've only danced with her for 2 1/2 weeks then I would have to say that her behaviour is mostly business related.
Teaching for me is little more than part time job---After years and years of lessons, competiting and shows I only do it because I enjoy sharing this wonderful pastime with others (and the extra money is nice too). I'd rather not say how much I make, but suffice it to say I make enough to stay home with my kids.
The bottom line is this, and I've said it before in someone else's thread---you shouldn't be manipulated by your teacher to continue taking lessons from her. Studios that force their teachers to recruit and recruit are ridiculous--half the time the teacher only knows a handful more steps than the student.
One question that you've never told us is why you started taking lessons from this person in the first place, and why you have decided to quit.
Have you asked for this woman's background? How long has she been dancing? How long has she been teaching? What form does she consider to be her specialty? Does she have a history of competitions? Where did she learn her ballroom from? These are all questions I would ask and if the answers aren't substantial numbers or descriptive enough I'd walk out of there and leave the teacher and her tears to someone else.
Yes, I'm sure its flattering to have someone cry over the very thought of you leaving, but let's be realistic---do you continue dancing to feed your ego or increase your ballroom knowledge?

I wanted to join because I wanted to see what ballroom dancing was all about. I didn't join because my instructor was beautiful. I was eager to learn something from it. I did ask some background questions about her and knew that she had some experiences in teaching. So I decided this might work plus it was pretty cheap in the beginning until later on... I knew what was happening. Prices kept jumping up.

At first I was manipulated by my teacher and knew she was trying to keep me because of business reasons on the day I wanted to quit and get my full refund. Not to mention that she kept convincing me to stay after 2 hours of non-stop discussion.

So I have to go with you I guess... coz you are pretty sharp and of course.. you're a dancing instructor. If her behavior was mostly business related... I must say that... she sure knows how to get an Oscar Nomination for best actress in her studio.

But I'm glad I quit and got my refund. The price was just too high for me to handle which was the reason I quitted. I also discovered that they were teaching me slowly and not as quick as I hoped for.

Are you saying as a female dance instructor... that male students shouldn't be flattered over a female dance instructor crying because he is leaving? I usually think crying is total blackmail! ARrrggghhh

Your responses have been helpful and I'll be sure to keep in mind everything you said. I know you make enough or more than enough to support yourself since this is what you love to do.

On second thought... I wish I didn't have to get myself into this and think that all of this for a dancing studio is business related. Whatever happened to respect? I guess the more you pay... the more respect you get.

I fell victim to being easily manipulated by her... especially after she cried. At first I thought... why is she doing that? Then I started feeling guilty about it like everything was my fault but I made a smart move and walked out of that damn door!

Let's look back at this reality and say that I learned a lesson.

Does your studio pressure instructors into manipulating their students?

California. Could be she was up tight over something else. Maybe you were the second or third who cancelled, or for some other reason. It is a bit unusual though.

Ok, you are a man and you know how women can be. She could have been in that period of time before the cycle (PMS) and you quitting just added to the pile of things she had on her break. But I have never seen a teacher use the crying technique. Maybe the begging technique but not the crying one. That is unique.
I have worked for a studio and yes, teachers are encouraged to sell lessons, its good business for the owner but also good business for the school and students as a whole. The bigger your studio is the better chancers you have to introduce others to each other and perhaps finding what alot of students are looking for. A friend, excercise, fun, laughter. Dance does all that for you.
If dance does it for you, you will find years of happiest and pleasure dancing, meeting friends and hopefully the ones that last.

Actually during the 2 hour discussion about quitting my lesson.... my female dance instructor used the begging technique and then went to the crying technique.

I don't know why we all have to generalize things about women and men... but if my female dance instructor (just because she's a woman) cried due to her PMS cycle.... then I must say... that is some crazy way to earn an Oscar Nomination!

But thank you all for your input. I guess a crush is out of the question. Well, you may never know.



It makes me feel really guilty that she cried... like all of it was my fault. Sometimes I can't bear it and have to find some ways to calm her down or do something to make her happy.

But all in all.. it was the best choice for me.

Cali,
It looks like she's playing you.Look in the mirror lately?.Make sure,there is nothing on your forehead that says "EASY".

Actually, a friend of mine at my current studio had his female instructor cry when he indicated he wouldn't renew his contract. We both viewed this as a highly manipulative ploy. Interstingly enough, it was the female instructor who left the studio several months later without even saying goodbye to any of her students.

Don't get suckered in by this show of emotion. It's a trick to get you to spend more money, when you could be happier at another studio!

why you think that it is "female dance instructors and male students" problem?
whill she cry abaut female student?