Hello dheun:

Do you teach anywhere close to the Tampa, FL area? We would really be interested if you are close.

Thanks for your encouragement. Appreciate your words of advice.

Sorry, dewdropflower, but I am in the Chicago suburbs.
Start with this in the meantime as you keep your eyes open for a good instructor: Watch the instructional videos on this website and study them closely, and write down the footwork and handwork as precisely as possible, and then try to practice a little bit on your own.
They really are helpful for basic training.
Look at local park districts and such and find out who teaches at those places, and see if you can get a private lesson from that type of instructor.
It can't hurt any more than what you've gone through.
Good luck.

P.S. Try contra dance, an energetic version of square dancing. Here's the web address for the contra dance group in Tampa. An important aspect: you are continually changing partners during the course of each contra dance. Mentioning the changing of partners in contra dancing brought back to mind several couples who had significant difficulty engaging with dancing. With one that we know, it helped a lot if I danced with the woman and Betty danced with the man. If you do that, then each of you only has to be concerned about what you do, not what you and also your partner do. After a waltz, I recall the woman saying, "I always imagined it (waltzing) would be like that."

Thank you to all for your encouragement and comments and suggestions. I feel like there may still be hope for me (and my husband too).

I am excited about checking out the square dance information. Perhaps hubby will see this as something different and he'll be encouraged to try again.

Thank you all. I really appreciate all your words.

...." our ability to do the steps needs additional attention because these are "strange" moves to our bodies. "....

That is true for anyone who has not danced before. The very first time is klutzy for everyone. Some people learn faster than others, and I think that previous physical activity has a lot to do with that.

You live in an area with a lot of ballroom activity. If you go to a general dance it's likely to be intimidating for a beginner because most people there are pretty good. The free lessons they give at those are also at too high a level for a beginner.

There are very likely some places where you can go to get free or almost free beginning dance lessons. Talk to some of the experienced dancers in the area and ask a few questions. If you were in Orlando, I could give you a whole list of places but I don't know about Tampa. Many senior citizen places have free (or 2 or 3 bucks per session) lessons. These lessons may not be the best quality, but maybe they will get hubby interested in trying again. These places also hold dances and have dancers of all skill levels, so beginners don't feel out of place. It's important to find a place to go that is fun, even if you can't dance very well. That will create an interest in learning.

Tell hubby "we really need the exercise, and it is something we can do together which should be fun". Once you get started, the learning part will be fun also.

"We have spent almost $1000 on lessons only to come away being totally discouraged and frustrated because the moves were shown only once to us and we were expected to "KNOW" it. I feel like a total clutz and my husband (who wasn't really that interested in the first place) is convinced he's not going to try again."

Does the manager of the studio know your feelings? Were you stuck with this instructor? Did you have options of asking for a different instructor that is better suited for both of you. If I were spending that much money on lessons - I would certainly ask the manager/owner and express my concerns over the goals of you and your husband vs what you were getting from the instructor. Not everyone is alike. You as the consumer are a representative of the end result of the studio per se. Be it, social, group, competitive or individual dancing. It reads like you were mis-fit in terms of what you and your husband set out to learn about and the goals your instructor had for you. If any.

That said, in addition to all the great suggestions, check out your local parks and recreation programs. Many of the Parks programs are more suited for social dance in a variety of formats. For a small fee that will not break your wallet. Our experience was much like yours. We did a Parks and Recreation Program and ended up becoming friends with others in the program. Mostly all of us are grandparents or great-grandparents. And yes, it was ballroom - "know-nothing" level beginning. And the instructors tend to be much more life experienced with a great deal of patience. My husband really liked that program as he hated the studio setting. Also, many senior assisted living centers and senior citizen centers will offer seasonal group ballroom or CW 2-step or Salsa (the list can go on and on). It's not a necessity to go to an actual ballroom studio. It's all in what you want. It might help if you can video tape/camcord your lesson with your teacher. Ask the teacher first - since you and your husband will practice at home after the lesson. Most don't mind and many encourage it. Some studios don't allow video taping of private lessons or groups unless permission is sought first. As with DHEUN, my teacher also travels to his students (all above the age of 55) and he rents space near his students if they want to get the feeling of studio work rather than being in their homes (mainly for Waltz and Tango where they have room to move). None of his students compete and he makes sure that each couple is a private lesson without onlookers (making the husband or wife much more comfortable). They just like to dance with their husband/wife or significant other or get ready for that big wedding day party. You and your husband are not alone in the disappointment of the studio instructor you had. I'm pretty sure you can find someone recommended to you through friends, neighbors, family. Good luck, don't give up.

Becoming a good dancer is a process, how often do you practice? If you were taking achery lessons would you practice? Learning to hit a 80 mile an hr fast ball take a good deal of concentration and pratice. I'd be willing to bet you rarely is ever practiced what you learned. Did you ever take private lessons? There are many people that can teach dance but not so many that are qualified to do so......When you are at a dance and see a couple that looks really great ask them where they take lessons and from whom..I'm betting they won't stear you to a county program but more likely a compeating instructor to the tune of $85.00 plus per/hr

Dragging a hubby to lessons over his head is rarely a recipe for success. You would do better to find a class at a level so easy and simple that he does better than average for the class, and better than you. If he has fun with what he knows, maybe repeats those classes, and sticks with it long enough, he might become bored and perhaps drag you to some place where you can learn to dance better.

Many teachers realize you are part of one of the major categories of students. We started dancing late in life and that is very common. That's a stage were couples have time, desire and money needed to take up ballroom dancing. Check out other teachers/studios and find one with people interested in teaching you. Also talk to the studio manager/owner and they may be able to assign you to someone more suitable.

We had a teacher assigned who believed in negative motivation, we requested a change and were assigned teachers that suited us better. Studios need students and normally the manager will do whatever they can to accomadate students.

It is very easy to get discouraged when first learning to dance. I remember feeling so discouraged, klutzy and wondering why I continued to spend money on dancing when I just could NOT dance well with anyone. I've been dancing almost a year now and I still have times when I don't follow well and feel so much less a dancer than everyone else that I see.......then another student will compliment me and I think..............maybe I'm not so terrible. I have days that I can see the progress.....it is such a process and I think there is an ebb and flow of learning and improving. If you enjoy dancing.....don't give up...you will improve if you practice.

As far as the insensitive teacher that said you were "boring"............well, he or she has forgotten their own boring days. I would not continue to pay a "teacher" that is discouraging. I recently participated in a competition in Indiana where one instructor there (who is high profile in the area) was incredibly and publicly rude to his beginner students (that paid him well to participate with them in that comp).....he was late to floor for their dances, had to be paged to the comp floor several times and then behaved as if he was being intruded upon by being expected to be there in time for his students to get their due floor time............what a turn off......I was happy he was not my teacher.........don't care how "good" he is........a teacher that doesn't respect his students is not a good teacher. Saying you are "boring" is not good teaching. Dewdropflower, I hope you find a great teacher........mine is wonderful and never behaves like he is bored with teaching me the same thing over and over and over till it sinks in!!! Dancing at any level is so wonderful...I hope you stick with it......your persistance will pay off.....and all of sudden you will be dancing and it will feel right!