Oh, Yes. We have tried the re-teaching method. He has a little "Freak- Out" problem. If we get on the floor, I can not let him look around to see what others are doing. I instantly force him to look at me, & concentrate. So, even for social dance. If he ever looks around he can not even do the New York.

Could it be that your husband is comparing himself to other dancers and getting discouraged? You mentioned once that he is a doctor/surgeon. Probably highly skilled and use to being the one in control and admired. Dancing is a great equalizer, and brilliantly successful people don't always get it as fast as they think they should. I have noticed that it is the men who have successful lives/careers get the most flustered and nasty when they don't get it right away. They think because they are good at one aspect of their life that they will be good at everything. Sheer exhaustion might be playing a role as well. I would back off a wee bit, sounds like a very heavy schedule to me.

I have taught groups of Drs and many couples where the man and sometimes both were Drs .
There seems to be some kind of disconnect when it involves music with motion.

Somtimes, I wonder why he can't multi- task. Like, Lead & move his feet! I sooo understand.

The learning techniques that physicians/doctors and engineers may have used successfully to acquire their considerable skills often work against them when they apply them to dancing. A small amount of humility will go a long way.

Yes, I have even thought that to myself! I thought, "Boy, What is wrong with you, you can fix someones brain, or heart, bring new life into the world, but you can't lead, & move your feet at the same time!" Then, I was quilty for even thinking it! Thank Goodness, I did not snap and verbalize it! When you are like that frustration sets in VERY quickly. Thanks, so much for the advice.

Hope you didn't misunderstand. I meant that the small dose of humility on HIS part may help him learn better: in this case, the physician cannot heal himself (w/o lots of help).

We guys can be quite frustrating sometimes. Best of luck!

A few phrases stick out at me, and I'm wondering if I'm just making too much of them:

"...I can not *let* him..." or "... I instantly *force* him..."

Um, you're the FOLLOW. First of all, there's no such thing as "letting, forcing" and the like in dancing. Secondly- if there WAS, that role would be assigned to the LEAD, which you are not. Leave the teaching to the teachers. You learn your part and "let" him learn his. Practice does NOT constitute you backing him into a corner and telling him how it's going to be.

That may NOT be the scenario in which you two participate AT ALL... I'm only going from a few lines of text at which I'm squinting on my monitor, but the appropriate "Trigger" words are all there and it makes the "not-really-but-close-enough-teacher" in me go "Hey- you two! Separate! We're reviewing the basics NOW!"

If you want to dance that badly, go pro-am like the rest of the ladies like this do. You'll make your husband that much more de-stressed, you can still do socials together, and you get your Moment. Although- be prepared after dancing with an instructor that "going back to" your husband will be frustrating and unfulfilling for you.

... which, consequently, is why Pro-Am... never mind.. another rant, another thread.

I have been told to run the routines through my head before going to sleep. That is every step and every alignment. If I have a new routine and in my mind some part is lost I must next morning look at my notes and memorize.
Also If for instance I am doing a Double Reverse which will finish in a Throwaway I must see the steps that get me to the Throwaway following the DRS and not in my mind suddenly appear in the Throwaway without the bit in between.

Darn this is such a easy suggestion! I do NOT know how I did not think of it. That is how I made it though college, I did not study though my first 4 years at all, I bought my first college book in my 4 th- I had photo. memory, and hearing, too. So, I would go to every class, then look at my lecture notes, the night before, then a quick read though in the morning. I always got "A"'s! Now, I am 43 years old , and I have to make lists, & More List, & then a master lists of all the list! LOL Thanks,Again! Mary Ann