Belle, if you're paying this guy then you should have no compunction about hurting his feelings.

Also, if this guy's a pro then he should know when he does not have a good connection with you.

You should be able to tell your partner - amateur or professional -anything.

BTW, have you never been taught the syllabus?

jj

Yes, now I am being taught the syllabus. I was not before. I should clarify. I was told I was full bronze, but I had no idea what the steps were outside of dancing them.

I couldn't tell an Alemana from a pivot from...well anything else.

I can now. It's improved my dancing.

I can't believe someone else had a problem I did! My husband was so easy, he loved me & was with me through 5 spine surgeries. He was scared he would hurt me. My instructor developed his heavy lead, from training many woman, of many styles & sizes. I kept telling my husband - he was not leading!After 6 months of me guessing the step.He slung me into position. I told him it was about time- he had finally "Lead" his first step! He is still developing a tougher "Lead" even today.
I was a little freaked out, by the fact you just followed, and did not know the names of the steps. * I am such a control freak, that I would never let anyone else, be in control of my performance, & If I won or Lost a competition. Sometimes I wish I could let go & trust & enjoy the dance, but my the competive nature of my brain, just can not relinquish that control.
Without being ugly, I was trained with a stronger lead. I think I would follow better for you. Then since the terms "heavy & lite", are subjective, simply show him what you want to feel for a "Perfect Lead". He is probably wondering what is going on any way. Heck, you are 50% of the partnership, and you have 100% invested in your dance. SPEAK UP! I did and should have done it way earlier- it prevents frustration for both of you! ScottyBoysDoll

As much as all of us rejoice in scottyboy's newfound energy, I want to point out to beginning males that the word "sling" should NOT be a good description of your leading technique - at least not in Standard.

Perhaps in hustle . . . .



jj

I realize "Sling" or "Slung" is harsh, even for the Hustle. I just could not think of a better word to describe the situation. And my energy level, has always been on Hyper Drive.

Perhaps I'm not completely understanding the concerns with lead. A weak/unclear lead is definately terrible, but by leading it is not the man's job to place the lady. It is to suggest the next step and have the lady follow through of her own strength and ability. A lead initiates a figure, it doesn't mean he carries you through it.

I recognize the difference, and I don't want to be carried through but I do want to know what the next step is.

You should want to know when he wants you to take it.

jj

You are right JJ. That is what its coming down too...though occasionally shouldn't the lead need to add or extend a steps length based on the need to avoid other dancers or to change direction based on line of dance?

Of course, he should. His primary responsibility is to get you around the floor safely and hopefully have some fun in the process.

Your best lead will be the person with whom you spend the most time dancing. The great thing that couples do is to help each other work through their dance issues together; each partner gets a chance to be a teacher and a student.

If you feel that your partner is not doing his duty then you need to tell him so. Some of your best sessions will have fifteen minutes of you and your partner screaming at each other followed by thirty minutes of great make-up dancing (that's the best kind ).

Remember, one of the great things about an amateur partnership is the equality of partnerhood. You share equal responsibility for your successes and your failures.

Tell him what you need.



jj