Absolutely tell your instructor what you need. Ask LOTS of questions, it's the only way your instructor will know how you're feeling and what you want...otherwise when you leave disgruntled she'll never know why. Asking questions also shows you're hard-working and serious (and not just going through the motions). I think that's the difference between being a dancer and "just dancing".
Also, if you can't find an amateur partner, is there a male instructor you can take some lessons with? A good male instructor can feel the weaknesses (eg. lack of tone in the body, lack of drive, ect) that may not always be visible from watching.

Good point, I'm simply finding it difficult to talk to her. She is practically the only instructor in town--the other one teaches latin and ballroom in the same classes, hitting each dance for a few minutes every lesson--and how can anyone learn well in that mad-mix of steps? Middle of no-place isn't exactly teaming with instructors.

Anyway, I like this instructor. She sometimes can bring in her male students to help with classes--but advanced class is discouraging to me because as one of the few students without a partner I get whomever is newest--which means someone who still needs more time at the basic level.

I've spent lots of time at the basic level. I take the basic class to work on technique--but recently there has been no challenge.

I went to (level II) advanced, and got the guy who needed to spend a lot more time at level I. He wants it bad enough, so he will likely improve rapidly but was not ready for level II--and my opportunity to improve was lost.

But telling my instructor all this is probably not the right approach. I want very much to couch this in positive terms--which as badly as I want to dance better, and as frustrated as I feel--tactful and positive is not happening right now.

Hi Ann,
By all means, talk to your instructor about your goals. S/he won't know what they are unless you explain them.

Just one thing - at the risk of sounding condescending - please don't think of dancing at your lessons as compensating for "bad" partners, which could lead others to think that you're bitter or arrogant. Instead, change the mindset to think of them as "inexperienced" partners, which leaves open the idea of improvement and seems a bit more generous-hearted. (Part of the reason that I suggest this is because it is quite possible that during your current lessons, your partners think that THEY are ones compensating for a "bad" partner: you. Wouldn't you rather be thought of as "inexperienced" rather than "bad"?)

Ask you instructor to give you some drills for each dance so that you can practice on your own. There are plenty of things you can do on your own that will assist you with mastering balance, hip movement, posture, and things like that.

Good luck with your dancing.

They are bad because they have either been improperly or insufficiently instructed and not because they have not been around long enough.

Unfortunately, the terms "uneducated" and "ignorant" don't sound much better than "bad."

A good instructor explains and demonstrates the fundamental mechanics of leading and following. Anyone can learn to do either in a relatively short period of time with good instruction and some practice.

My current partner has made more progress in three months with our new coach than many women make in two or three years.

If they're bad, let them know it. You can be very sweet and supportive but, sooner or later, you have to tell a guy - privately, of course - that you have no idea what he is trying to lead.




jj

Now that will keep my laughing for days and days and days! You've been rather dismissive of pro-ams in other threads; and certain posters would define pro-ammers as entirely devoid of dance skills. Well, I'm a pro-ammer. So, SURELY, in my instance, you would, therefore, highly object to me telling a man that he is a "bad" lead. SURELY, you would say that the reason I have no idea about what he lead is because I'M the one who is bad!!

(By the way, I hope you didn't mean to imply that I'm somehow "sweet and supportive." Take my word for it - I am most definitely not either one of those things.)

not know how to follow an amateur's lead, so you're probably correct: you're every bit as awful as you think he is.

If you're going to do pro-am, stick to pro-am. Don't dance with amateur men and then whine that they don't lead like you think your pro does.



jj

Hey, you've got no reason to "scold" me. I don't subject amateur males to my dancing skills (such as they are). Nope.

I'm not very smart so let me see if I have this straight: you're suggesting that a woman be upfront and tell a man when he's a "bad" lead. So I'm curious:

Scenario 1: You, jofjonesboro, have just finished a dance with an amateur woman who is working at syllabus level with her amateur partner, who take regular lessons with a reputable instructor. She pulls you aside and tells you that she was not able to figure out your lead, and that you are a "bad" leader. Would you accept such an assessment from her?

Scenario 2: You, jofjonesboro, have just finished a dance with an elite amateur who is a national finalist. She pulls you aside and tells you that she was not able to figure out your lead, and that you are a "bad" leader. Would you accept such an assessment from her?

Just curious.

I would ask each lady for details. If she can provide specifics (e.g. "I can't feel your lowering to begin each figure.") then I would pay attention.

If she cannot give me specifics then I would be polite but ignore her.

No matter how good a dancer you may be, you can always learn something from anyone.



jj

Which, of course, leads me to my curiosity over Scenario 3: You, jofjonesboro, have just completed a dance with a Pro-Am student amateur who is studying syllabus with the same reputable instructor as in Scenario 1. She pulls you aside, and says that she cannot figure out your lead and provides some detail, and says that you are a "bad" leader/dancer. Do you automatically dismiss it as the "whining" complaint of a pro-ammer, or do you give any consideration to her assessment?