Quote:
"Or women are afraid that if they show up without their own guy, they will be left to dance with the unwashed 3-left-footed looser"

I think you might be on to something here. Guys will stick their necks out more if there's a good chance to meet women. Women might be more concerned about how they're perceived taking dance lessons by themselves.

I think women also view dancing in a more romantic light than men, and it's a social activity shared with your significant other. Maybe guys are more able to see the sporting side of it. The mechanics, timing, footwork, and leading. Dancing is the perfect blend of art and science.

So, the question is... If you were absolutely convinced that you would have to wait until you were 40 to meet potential dating prospects thru dancing, would you stop taking lessons?

Its the guys that come to Ballroom dancing to find a mate that give the rest of us a bad name, I say. :o) Just dance for the sake of dancing - its fun, exhilarating, besides which - and to make your point for you - women find men that dance sensuous. May be, just may be, some of the three-left-footers out there could learn to be better dancers. Trust me, build and they will come.

GT

Well, I'm a long-married over-40 but the single 30-ish women I know seem to be busy trying to do the stuff their boyfriends do rather than geting the guys to do something they (the women) might like. When they start to hit 40, they finally give up on that and drag the guy out dancing

"the single 30-ish women I know seem to be busy trying to do the stuff their boyfriends do rather than geting the guys to do something they (the women) might like."

That's a very interesting point - one thing I noticed in the review of the women's adds on the site where I asked my question about dancing, is that so many of them sound really eager to drink beer while watching the game. I'm sure a lot of women do really enjoy that (hey, I really enjoy dancing!) but it sure looks a lot like advertising a willingness to meet guys on stereotypical guy terms. The problem with this is that it gives you no way to know what the woman herself is really like or interested in.

I do agree with the posting relaying some of the blame to women initially focusing on what their boyfriends or fiance's do.
I am in my late 30's and have loved ballroom dancing all my life. Yet, once I married, I completely dropped my beloved hobby until a couple of years ago when I had "matured" enough to do what I wanted to with or without him. In this case, as is too often the case with women "dancers" - the hubby says thanks, but no thanks. More ladies need to learn earlier on that is OK.

How long does it take an attached woman to learn that?

Thank you for starting this thread. I witness the same thing in my studio. At first I figured it's a midlife crisis thing, the a retired person with lots of money, or daddy's little girl who has lots of money. But this adds a fresh perspective on things. Women, you could never figure them out. sigh..

Hmmm. I'm a single 32 year old woman who takes lessons by myself, and I've found the opposite to be true. The men my age are taking lessons with their girlfriends or fiancees, and then there's a huge jump in age to those who are nearing retirement. I didn't become involved in dance to find a significant other, but I've found that quite a few of the older men I've encountered at the studio ARE on the quest for something more than social dance, which is unfortunate. It makes the whole experience seem almost predatory at times. But my question is, where are all the single 30-something men who are interested in dance for the sake of dance? They're certainly not at MY studio!

you make the mistake of thinking someone could not have two complete reasons for being there

(I am male and going to be 27 in a month)

The age groups I have observed here (in Greece) are the 14-16 year old girls who dream of becomming a dancer (not necessarily knowing what they themselves think a dancer is, then again I wanted to be an architect and had no idea why).
The women over 40 who love dancing and are either single and don't want to stay alone at home or those that have realised that they don't need their husbands to dance and now that the kids are old enough to take care of themselves, have finaly found the time.
Then there is the ladies in their late thirties who are the mothers of the 14 year olds and who decided to tag along with their daughters.
There are also young women in the 18-20 range who have just started universtity and not yet felt the pressure of important exams, parents asking when they will finish and what happened to all the money we send for your studies.

I have the slight feeling that women who do not yet know how to dance are slightly intimidated by men who do.
I think that it has to do with young girls dreaming of dancing , older women having the courage of finally realising their dreams on their own, but women inbetween knowing that they are supposed to be the ones really wanting to dance with the guys saying "I don't know how to dance" but the men they meet in ballroom being to a large part more experienced or seeming to progress rather rapidly at first, if they were the same level, as those guys that stick with it are the ones that really love it.
A lot of the men I met that started dancing just to meet women stopped after a month.
I found though that these "predatory" men hennepin mentioned in her post were treated far better by many women than those of us who do not flirt with everything biped and female.
(the explanation female friends gave me was that with that type they know what they are while men who are just having a good time dancing and dont want to get them in bed are strange...)

"Predatory Men" is an interesting term.
These men with their wolf-like smiles usually either find a girl friend rather quickly and shortly after that quit dancing. There are Predatory Women too--that just go dancing to find a boyfriend or mate and not really have a love for dancing. Just a means to an end.

Some teachers could be classified as Predatory Men too. The young lady that thinks that he is such a great dancer and wants it to rub off on her. Or get some free lessons by getting a teacher to dance with you more often. Or the opposite is when the guy mates up with a lady much better than him in hopes that it will help his dancing.

Mating up with dancing is complicated. Some relationships are made in heaven and others are not. If you mate up and then break up afterwards it's awkward. It is like dating your next door neighbor and breaking up. Someone will probably need to move studios or quit.