This is a crazy question, and I'm not sure how much people can advise me in this area, but I'll give it a shot! I'm very new to ballroom dance, and thus newly acquainted with my ballroom teacher. He is very charismatic and uninhibited- he loves the sensual side of the latin dancing and isn't afraid to show it- it's in his personality. Recently we've been discussing my characterization of the latin dances, or rather my failure at it. I am typically a very confident individual- very out going and not shy under ordinary circumstances, but when it comes to walking out on that dance floor like I own it and feeling like the sexiest person on it, I just can't do it. I'm just not like that- my modesty gets the better of me. I am a very routine and training oriented person though, so I though maybe you guys could give me some advice on some "sexier" moves that wouldn't be too much for me, or even just some things to think about or envision while dancing. Help me! My sensual nature is just too shy for latin dances!

Englishride. If there is a break in between dances and you wish to go to the other side of the ballroom. Do you walk all the way around the edge or do you go straight across the middle of the floor. I was one who once upon a time would go all the way around the edge. Not anymore. Time was the cure. When i think about it i should have come to grips with myself and stopped worying about whether or not people were looking at me. Today who cares, that's the least of my troubles.

Maybe you could ask for specific direction for what you should do to create the look. You might want to take some lessons with a female coach for that if your male coach doesn't know exactly what to tell you.

I agree. There are some things best left to the people that do them all the time. Ladies teach ladies stuff best. Ladies can also discuss the reasons why they do them or not do them and how.

I'm not so sure this is something you should be concerned with in the beginning of your dance instruction. The sensual, sexy attitude you refer to comes from a confidence witin when you know you have skill. While you could certainly take some styling classes for women, I think when you're first starting out, your concerns should be more about the basics and fundamentals of each dance. I'm guessing since you're just starting out, you're not planning any shows or exhibitions any time soon, right?

It's the gentlemen's responsibility to dance WITH the lady, and not for her. He shouldn't make you uncomfortable.

Another thing to keep in mind... typically, dancers have a leaning towards either standard/smooth dances, or Latin/Rythm. I think it's a personality thing. It might be in your nature to like waltz, foxtrot, tango, etc. more than cha, rumba, bolero. So, don't let it bother you too much that you don't have the same confidence as your instructor. I guarantee he didn't develop that ability after a few months of lessons, and neither will you or any one else.

Hope this helps

I have a related question that hopefully someone can help me with.

I love dancing and am fairly new to ballroom, but have experience performing and competing in other dance styles and feel comfortable exressing myself. Unfortunately I am feeling a little stress over a situation I would never experience in "stage dancing."

I enjoy adding styling into my dancing, and try to ask as many men to dance as possible at practice sessions/socials. I am disappointed to find that many men are not inhibited to try to take things to a personal level (asking for dates), which makes me feel uncomfortable. Personally, I am not at all flirtatious, and I have never had this problem in my career in sales where I interact with many clients each day (in general people treat me with respect as a professional).

I want to continue to practice so I can dance at my personal best (and have fun). What is the best way to exude that I am there to dance (not find dates) and would like to be treated more professionally?

I dress conservatively and do not drink at these events. I am currently single, so there is not a boyfriend/husband I can have pick me up or watch.

I appreciate any advice and suggestions!

Thanks

The best ways to avoid getting asked for
a date are to show up and dance exclusively
with a practice partner or practice on your
own, and don't dance with or talk to people
who don't know you (unless you know that they
aren't single). Also, go to events that
are described as "practices" and not "social
dances", or go to a studio during open floor
time and practice then.

Thanks, those are good points. I will take your advice.

I'll tell you 2 things:

1- You can find a partner in harmony with you or maybe ask a friend of yours to join the class with you.

2- Dance like nobody is watching you.

Actually the situation corrected itself.

Martin, I had to actually break out of my comfort zone and social circle when I began dancing more seriously and frequently. I realized I didn't want to just dance socially, I wanted to really practice and develop. This change can put you in a vulnerable position. I was in a new position and had to be a sponge and learn from others, however, I was not there to "meet people" socially like many other dancers. However I wasn't opposed to meeting new contacts to learn about dance and to network in general.

Basically, after a few months people got to know my reputation. A few of the more serious dancers took me under their wings. There were a few good dancers who did try to pursue a relationship, and basically being polite but somewhat standoffish cured that.

Plus, when my dancing improved it somehow changed the type of people who approach me.

I guess you can say I'm not "fresh meat" any more :)