Greetings

My name is Anya Hershberger, and I am a student at the University of Notre Dame. I am doing a research paper on the relationship between ballroom dancing and male-female relationships. In my research, I came across an article in The New
York Times entitled "On Campus, Tripping the Light Fantastic" from 1999. In that article, Dr. Spanier, the President of Penn State, was quoted addressing that very issue.

Has anyone here, or anyone you know, noticed any change in the male-female relationships as a result of ballroom
dancing?

Have you noticed any other significant developments, both in yourself and in others, since attending ballroom classes?

Any information that you are able to provide me with/ direct me to would be very helpful.


Thank you so much for your time!


Anya Hershberger

Anya,

Interesting topic. As far as when there is an existing relationship taking up ballroom dance training together can reinforce the strengths (the give and take) that exists in a relationship. And, conversely, "expose" the fault-finding or lack of patience.

As far as male-female interactions in the ballroom social dancing environment, they are a microcosm of what goes on in general life. Such as: Attractive, fit women get the most attention and get asked more often to dance. Men vie for the attention of the women by attempting to show their prowess as a dancer.

When I became first and foremost a devotee of ballroom dance as an art and as a venue to compete in I seriously cut back on social dancing. I found myself really feeling different than the men who were in it just to "meet chicks".

Hello! That's a really interesting topic. Well, personally, I met my boyfriend through dance, and I'm sooo happy! He's awesome and I'm soooo happy that I met him, I wouldn't give him up for the world. Also alot of couples I know that dance together, some professional and some not, have also fallen in love while dancing. Just look at some of the couples who are, or have been, the best in America or in the world. Like Marcus and Karen Hilton, Igor and Polina Pilipenchuk, Nicholas Kosovich and Lena Bacheva,Bob Powers and Julia Gorchakova, and even the founders and owners of this site, Jonathan and Melissa Atkinson. I'm not saying that all couples fall in love. I know many partners that would never even consider dating! However, when your dancing that closely for hours at a time practicing, sparks start to fly! lol~ I hope I helped just post if you need anything else!

I did a little study last year about adult education. This included informal education which led me to look at a dance class. I found there was a high percentage of people wanting to be with like minded people. This in itself is ambiguous however there was also a high percentage of divorced people in a 40+ age group. So yes they are looking for people who are social and wanting to be with people. One interesting thing I discovered about the men was that there was a significant element who danced to finesse their skill. These men were also achievers in other activitites. Dance for them was about "mastery" and yes they certainly needed a female partner to do this with. This may trigger some thoughts on what drives these relationships. The others who were there simply to meet partners unfortunately did include some with self gratification only on their mind. These peopele were the minority however one bad apple could affect a number of people. Regards Susan

When I met my girlfriend, all she talked about was dancing. She had over 10 years experience. I had none. I figured that if I want to continue to go out with her I had to learn how to dance. We began with lessons at the local high school's Adult Ed. I then took some lessons and workshops with a teacher she knew. We also went to local dances where I met a whole group of dance friends. It was hard getting on the dance floor during the first year. I didn't know many dances and the ones I knew I knew only a few steps. My girlfriend would complain that she was losing her dance skills because I was not doing any advanced dance steps. We she would dance with other guys with greater skills I would get upset. Eventually, I got hooked on dancing. We are now taking lessons together. I have improved in my skill level (at least she's no longer complaining!!). I no longer fear going out on the dance floor. Usually I am the one to pull her out on the dance floor. I am no longer jealous of her dancing with others as there are still dances that I don't do or do well. And I have introduced her to other forms of dance: Contra, English Country, and Zydeco. We have taken workshops in the dances of the Ragtime era, and Renaisance dances. And we perform in a dance group at our local historical village restoration (Contras and Quadrilles).
There still are times that there is tension between us. There are times I make an error or give a wrong lead. Our relationship has allowed us to grow as dancers.
Steve

to stevenp, im glad to hear you and your girlfriends relation ship is still going strong, but i think it really sucks that she would get mad at you for not knowing advanced dance steps. and especally for saying you were causeng her to lose skills. dont let your self think for a second that your ruining her dance skills. for any body else out there in a similar situation, if your a beginner its just plain rude and snobish for a more experenced dancer to blame their bad danceing on you. while its hard to dance with an inexperenced dancer some times, you never blame them for it, people like that are what we call dance snobs. they forget that they were once danceing like that and probably being a chalanging partner for a more experenced dancer. Im sure stevenp's girlfriend is a very nice girl who was just frustraited, but seriously thats a cold thing to tell some one

Crimson-tear, I understood that she was frustrated. She would see other guys who were better dancers and I would never stop her from dancing with them. I would tell my girlfriend that she had to be encouraging. There were times I said to myself that I wanted to quit. I also realize that because my girlfriend was more experienced that she would help me learn. At times I would dance with others which is great for learning how to lead. When I dance with someone who is new I try to be encouraging as possible. I tell them that it takes time to learn. I think it is easier to for a guy to dance with an inexperienced woman than a woman with an inexperienced man.

I dance at a ballroom that's been operating for over 26 years. Many of the clientele are in their 80's. When my wife and I celebrated our wedding anniversary, it was lovely; they all made a circle around us as we danced a slow waltz. Afterwards, one of the couples came up to us and asked us how long we had been married. We replied 37 years, and with some air of superiority, the man informed us that they had been married 60 years.

My wife turned to our friend and said with some wonder, "Isn't it remarkable how dancing keeps couples together!"

Our friend, quick as a wink, said "Well, of course. Think about how hard it is to train a new partner!"

Hope that helps.
Jerry Blumenthal

do u know of any male dancers in his 50 -65 looking for a female partner ?

I recently spoke with a long-married couple who said they had to quite ballroom after about 4 years or they would have had to divorce because of all the disagreements they had. As we reach the end of our 3rd year, I can see how what was fairly easy for us to deal with in the beginning is now getting trickier. The leads and follows are more subtle and we are each developing different strengths. Since we mostly dance together, we have to learn how to work together better and realise when it is just best to grin and bear it. I am keeping the lessons of our friends in mind - we both love dancing too much to give it up now