Is it ok to develop a crush over a female dancing instructor? I know signing a contract that respects the student's potential to learn and teacher's passion to teach is quite strict. No gifts or whatsoever must ever be given to the teacher... that is what the contract says.

However, my other question is... have there ever been any female dancing instructors that have developed a crush on their male students?

Sometimes I get the feeling my female dancing instructor thinks I'm cute but she kind of keep the hints subtle and low.... not too extreme or direct.

Answers are appreciated

I had a bit more than a crush on my instructor. I believe (and this is what I did) once you realise you have feelings you should try and keep them hidden and just get on with the buisness relationship that you had come and paid for in the first place. If you feel you are unable to do that maybe you should let her know why it is you are changing instructor or even studio - fair is fair.
And I was whining in another threat about how things went bad afterwards ;)

I know that there have been instructors who have had crushes on students. And its even harder that way round because lets face it if a student has a crush on his instructor but is not causing trouble (and I have heard really disturbing stories about psycho stalkers) it is actually flattering for her - The odd nice compliment, the sincere warm smile during a rumba.
But if an instructor has a crush on her student what is she going to do? If she does little things to show her feelings she could get into real trouble with her employer (assuming she isnt the studio owner or teaching private outside a studio) when he/she notices.
So she would have to hide and drown those feelings. But where it is seen as natural for a student to admire his instructor, she is supposed to be a profesional distanced emotionaly from her students. Which robs her of the excuse that "Its dancing and dancing can lead to confusing emotions"

My advice be nice and charming. Once things get complicated you run the danger of ending up like us... havent talked in 18 days ... and I havent danced in 17.

Sounds like you've been through a lot. I can't imagine for the fact that I have developed a crush on my female instructor because I know I have.... but also that I keep my distance from her and resume normal dancing hours for what I have paid for.

It's sad to know that feelings develop in this kind of atmosphere but also that there have been sites that encourage male instructors to flirt or go out with their female students... whereas nothing or not much of has been encouraged for female instructors to flirt with their male students.

Your advice was nice. It's good to know that I'm not the only one alone. How does a male student pay a compliment to his instructor without coming too strong?

Cant help you there I am affraid. If she does like you as you seem to hope she'll give you ample opportunity. But good compliments are spontaneous and honest.
...coming on too strong. I'd say just set yourself a limit, no more than one compliment per lesson. When in a bad mood she has to come to your lessons with a feeling of "He really is interested to learn and works hard for it and he is fun/pleasant to be around - always has something nice to say" and not thinking "Oh no not him, he'll be slobbering all over me and I have to smile because he pays my rent"

that is a great and honest answer. sounds like the truth is... don't come on too strong and set the limit and live life the way it is.

sometimes human emotions can have a dramatic effect on people's lives... depending on their needs and wants.

i wonder why you said that a female instructor would be more interested in a male student only if he was devoted to his lessons or tries hard to make something work?

i just cracked out at the smiling and rent part. Sounds funny because most women get the thinking that they don't want the guys to go too far.

ever wonder why that is the case?

Crushes develop all the time. It's an occupational hazard of being a dance instructor. You are probably not the only student with a crush that she dances with in a day. Remembering that can help you keep a crush under control. She's special to you because she's your only dance teacher, but you are one of 20 or more students she deals with every week. She probably compliments them all, in one way or another.

Crushes tend to develop early in the learning process and, if you ignore them and go about your life including meeting and dating other women, they go away. That's what I would recommend you do. When you are in a lesson, focus on your dancing. That's what you're paying for.

Don't read too much into your instructor's compliments to you. Dance instructors have to be salespeople, too (more or less, depending on the studio they work at, but it's always some part of the job). I certainly have heard of female instructors flirting with their students and encouraging crushes as a way to generate business. I'm not saying that your instructor is doing that, but if she wants to keep her students, she has to make them feel good in some way.

Sorry to be so blunt, but I've seen too many unhappy situations and people leaving dancing because of crushes gone bad.

I must agree to what Ellen mentioned about instructors as sales person selling their classes to students. A little bit of flirting, and being nice and complimenting their students is the only way the terachers can make their students feel comfortable.
I too have been subjected to such treatment. I have changed instructors in the past who flirt more than they teach coz ultimately its the dancing tht you are paying for and not the flirting.

Be careful my friend. Dance instructors natural personalilty is to be friendly and such. This is part of the fun of dancing. If she really wants a relationship and if you hint that you are available for something other than being a student, the teacher will bite. Remember, you are being romantized by the feeling of dance.
Be sure she is really hinting and available before spoiling the good thing you have. good luck

it's rare that it's real or likely to work out but i know two married couples that got started that way

as a beginner dancer... I'm starting to realize the business of all of this. It sounds like there's a lot to think about as human beings.

What I find most interesting is how women students have fallen head over heels with their male dance instructors... and why this seems to be so popular. I feel it has to do with this character and flair of romance when it comes to dancing.

But just one question to the person who first replied... Starvos.... how much did you actually paid for the entire dance lessons before you realized that you were getting too much of a crush and haven't talked in 17-18 days?