my partner is so unbelievably hot sometimes I just can't stand it. i thought i was starting to get over her then wham! she shows up wearing a really cute outfit so when she leaned over to put on her shoes i could see inside her top and she is so delicate and beautifull there and everywhere else i stopped being able to consentrate or dance but just wanted to hold her forever. lucky she got distracted after a few songs and seemed more in the mood to talk than dance so we did that for a while. but she doesnt seem to want to date and doesnt respond if i pat her on the shoulder or something and deep down i dont really think we are right for each other that way. but the dancing is really good when i can pay attention to it its just she's too darned hot to be around sometimes and its hard to really want to ask out other girls when i cant get her out of my head

If you want to date this woman, be a man and ask her out. If she says no (and maybe she already has) or if you are too afraid to ask her, you will need to end the partnership. You obviously are incapable of maintaining a "professional" dance relationship with her, so get out before you get hurt. Your obsession with her isn't healthy.

You're a pervert....... and obviously only dancing to meet woman and spend the night with them. It is not just a guy thing, you saw her fixing her shoes or whatever, yet you still stared at her.

Actually,my partner and I went throught this situation too.
Earlier this year he confessed his feelings for me, and fortunately, I felt the same way! We had a secret "thing" going on for a short time, but then I realised I needed a more open relationship, which of course we couldn't have due to our age differences (yes, he's legal). We're still partners and we're still attracted to each other, but we're not doing anything about it. Talk about your dormant volcanos!

Dear Defenseless,

I am glad you got a chance to at least get it out in the air. It sounds like it has helped relax things a bit, even if it isn't going anywhere. Usually, from my own experience, us women can be clueless about these things at times...

Dancing and loving it,

Karen

Women often underestimate their effect on men, for sure. We were out dancing recently and I caught my partner looking off (I thought) into space as if he had forgotten something important at home - very distracted. Bear in mind that we are middle aged and married for nearly 30 years. He eventually came out of his daze and said "quite an eyeful." That's when I noticed that I was bending over to do up my shoes right in front of him. Honestly - I was stunned. So the moral is that ladies do need to be conscious of our effect on the guys all the time, young or old, intentional or not...

I'm tempted to be rude here but I will refrain. Did you read the post at all? I was talking about myself and my husband. He is usually very respectful and would NEVER make a comment like that to another woman. I was flattered yet surprised that he made the comment about me. My point is that WE women often don't understand how distracting we can be and we need to be more aware of it, even in circumstances that don't seem to be provocative to us.

Wow, what a question!
I'd say you need to just enjoy the intimacy that you have with her on the dance floor and leave it at that.

Apparently she's made it clear to you that she doesn't want a relationship.

I'd recommend circulating a bit more and dancing with other women. Eventually, you may find a partner that you can get to know better off as well as on the dance floor.

www.ilovemusic.com

Say, what is your partner's phone number? May be I can ask her out and you won't be caught in a quandrary any more..

Hello,
My dancepartner and I started dancing in januari and we like it very much. But in august he suddenly kissed me. I didn't expect it, so I turned away to change my shoes (it was time to go home anyway). That week I was very confused: I hadn't realised that I liked him. But I understood that I did. But he is 10 years older than me. So I thought "No, this is not meant to be. My parents won't accept this, neither my friends would." When I saw him again, he kissed me again. I said that I liked him, but that it wasn't meant to be. He understood and agreed. But the week after, we both wanted to kiss again. And we thought "****, this isn't right, but it feels so good".
Now we still love each other. I have made up my mind: I want to stay with him. And I'm glad my parents understand and accept that. And my friends are very glad for me that I found such a nice guy. So I'm very glad. But my dancepartner still hasn't made up his mind. He says "If I only listen to how I feel, we are already staying together. But the more I think about it, the more difficult it becomes." How can I turn off his thinking? Love is just a case of feeling, not thinking. And loving each other doesn't mean we can't dance with each other. I know that for sure, while we are still dancing and that goes great.
I hope somebody can tell me what to do, so we both can be happier.
Dancelove,
Petra