I am practicing ballroom and latin dances for year and a half now with the great will to compete some day. The main problem with me is that I didn't have a partner and from two months a dance with a man who had never danced at all and started training by chance. He is a real tragedy, he cannot move at all and for me it is a real terror to waste my time trying to explain to him how to relax and get rid of his tension.
I need advice. Should I tell him that I don't want to dance with him anymore and try to develop myself without a partner, or what?
And how to do my best in training without a partner??

He may become a better partner some day. YOU may become a better partner someday, too. Meanwhile, practice alone as much as possible whether or not your keep this partner. I know all the talk is constantly about finding, getting, or keeping a partner. Admittedly, it IS partner dancing. But the more comfortable you become with your own part, the less you will rely on your partner in some ways. Some of your very best improvements can come from this solitary practice. You'll become much more able to adapt to anything a partner throws at you when you have to spend less time worrying about what you yourself are doing.

I believe in the catch-22 of dance but I would like to add something to it. One of the biggest problems that I see with finding partners is that everybody wants a better partner. I have seen it alot. This person does not like their current partner and wants somebody better than themselves. Partners are meant to grow together with their learning and do not over estimate the power of practicing by your self together. My partner and I do that all the time and then when we are together it flows that much better.

Ah! the classic catch 22 of dance! I was told this once by a dance master when I was interviewing to teach at her studio (which unfortunetly I didn't get the job but that's besides the point) anywayz, I told her that I was looking for a partner and she told me about the catch-22 of dance..... when you're first starting out, finding a partner that you're good with is about as easy as raising the titanic with tweezers but when you become really good and well known, you got more people wanting to be your partner then you know what to do with! *smiles* I thought that was amusing and it's what kept me from getting discouraged when I can't find a partner (which i'm still looking for!!! grr)
~LB

You Haven't Truly Made It Until Your Head Is On A Pez Dispenser

I think I've been in the exact same position as you, Zhennie. What I did was continue dancing with my (now former) partner and look for another one in the meantime. It didn't take me very long, but that was because I had a BIG variety of choice (which I wasn't aware of at the time, so I was very frustrated and started wondering if maybe it was better to continue without partner, like you).

A lot of people told me not to dump him, a lot of people told me to look for another partner. Opinions vary, BUT if you feel that you can handle to dance like this for a little while longer, I shouldn't dump him (yet) and just look for another partner in the meantime. If you feel that you can't bear the situation anymore, dump him and continue dancing with your teacher (like Joy Kelley said) for the time being.

Whatever you do, DO address the situation to your partner and tell him what bothers you. Give him a chance to work on his dancing! Also, if that didn't help, always be open to a new partnership, who knows, maybe the right one will come dancing your way very soon

"Carpe diem, quam minimum credula postero." - Horace

I am trying to get started and finding the same thing: I know various beginning dancers but they are intimidated by Int'l Std.

Finally I am thinking of giving up and instead of looking for a "partner" instead just find "someone I can practice with a bit between class meetings."

D

Oh,. here's another idea for you...come to the USABDA NorCal competition at the Allegro tomorrow (Saturday May 18). There will be social dancing and Jack and Jill contests in the evening session, which starts around 6pm and goes to about midnight. Maybe you'll meet some potential people to try out with there.

Also, have you asked H (your private teacher) for suggestions? She used to have a couple of unpartnered women who she taught privately, maybe one of them is interested/available. I'd also try talking to all the male teachers there -- a few of them have female students (especially DA, who teaches the Silver-level group standard class with H) who do Pro/Am and might be interested in having a partner for practice and/or competition (well, except for S -- he doesn't teach standard).

Laura

[This message was edited by Laura on 05-17-02 at 08:58 PM.]

What about pro-am? Working with a professional-- an instructor-- instead of an amateur partner? (Pro-am is the competition for professional/amateur dancers.)

I had a *lot* of dance experience (ballet all my life and five years with a professional company) before beginning ballroom, and dancing with beginner dancers is too frustrating to me. Now I'm working with instructors, and when I have progressed enough, I will look for an advanced dancer to partner. I plan on doing this as soon as my husband and I relocate to the West Coast.

So many people worry about the partner yet it takes hours for us to see our own bodies and responsibilities when we choose to share the intimate language of dance. Be patient. Add some work with a pro/am instructor please. when you start being asked to dance by the currently better dancers you know your own motion will be impressing them, good luck j.

Bear in mind that it takes men longer to learn to dance competitively if they have no dance background at all.
If your current partner has good timing and can move to the beat of the music, eventually he will be a competent dancer with patience, practice and good lessons. But if he has two left feet and has no potential to progress, you are better off dancing with your teacher until the right partner comes along.

Good luck