Wow,I didn't expect so many replies,thank you very much. If anyone has any advice at anytime please share it with me. Also to let people know what I have:Nager Syndrome but a very mild form of it. Thank you

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Wow,I didn't expect so many replies,thank you very much.

You're very welcome and a big thank you to all the others who you noticed took the time to answer. I think it proves my point that there are a lot of good people out there. Unfortunately, it's the jerks that always get noticed.

Just to add to the idea that we always take rejection personally, as our own fault.

I have a condition called "reflex sympathetic dystrophy" in my arms. I have it under control mostly now but it flares up once in awhile and can be very painful in my arms and hands.

I remember a woman in a dance class walking up to me once and giving me total hell because I didn't switch partners with the single ladies in the class. Truth was my wife is aware of my condition and we danced with that in mind. The other women in the class would not have been aware of it and could have made the pain worse.

The woman who came up to my had taken my not switching personally. I'm sure if she knew the truth it would have been different.

OB

I'm not a guy but i have to say one thing: If the guy dosen't like you for whats inside then he is no goo for oyu

I agree...and I did find a guy who thinks I'm beautiful no matter what I look like.

Over the years, I've realized that a CHARMING and CONFIDENT PRESENCE rather than physical endowment is what makes a person attractive.

Those with such a presence have developed an inner confidence founded upon the acceptance of their faults and the celebration of their gifts.

How you ask a lady has more to do than what you look like. The confident eye contact, the assured manner that tells her: here's a guy I SHOULD dance with.

Never BEG for a dance--that is, don't get into the mindset of being so sure she will say no that you feel you have to get down on your knees just for a dance (unless of course you've developed such a charming personality--in which case, I say, go for it :). Rather, ask for the honor to dance a wonderful song with her.

Remember, timidity is a learned habit. So is confidence and boldness--have a lot of the first, and use the second sparingly.

Regards.

PS
I was speaking as a guy--in my previous post. But the same principles apply to ladies.

It's your presence on the dance floor, and your charm that carries the day. However badly you dance...

Looks do matter whether people choose to admit so or not. More than likely a lead would choose to dance with someone they found to be "attractive" over someone they might think to be a little less than, unless the non-preffered partner happens to be one heck of a follow.

Phantomsbeauty1890. Learn your steps well. I have found that if you can perform well finding someone to dance with you will not be a problem. I am 75 . I was at a club , very crowded. Lots of people dancing. It was mainly Jive and Rock and Roll. I was alone and had not got out of my chair or been on the floor. Coming straight in my direction was a absolutely gorgeouse young lady who would only be in her twenties. I took a quick look behind me to see who else was around. She was still heading in my direction with a very pleasant smile on her face. Would you like to jive with me she said. I wondered how she could possibly know that i could Jive. So as usual i led her into a Fallaway Rock Change of Places and so on just to see what she could do before doing trying anything spectacular. After a while she said, you don't remember me do you. No, but i'm sure i should. You taught me how to jive when i was fifteen that was over ten years ago. As i said before become accomplished with your steps and your problems will disappear. Best of luck.

In life, sure looks matter. It gets you in clubs faster, more dates, people opening doors for you if you're female,...you all know. But, it does not get you very far and it's ephemeral. Sure it might get you more dates, but if there's no connection or if he's interested only in your looks, your relationship is going nowhere. Sure it might land you a job interview, but unless it's a job at a strip club, you'd probably not get the job if you don't have skills...Even good looking people have problems. There'll always be someone else prettier and younger. Lucky for us guys, we get more distinqushed as we age. Society is so screwed up.

To answer your question, I do notice a girl's look, but it doesn't stop me from asking her to dance regardless. However, what will determine whether if I'll ask her to dance again is how well she dances with me, whether or not she enjoys dancing with me, and her hygien.

It took me a bit of time to work up the courage to answer your message. I've been figgetting around here making comments in other threads and I realized that if I didn't answer I'd be discrimating even though we've never met. Can you imagine! Also I was very affraid that I may not say the right thing!)

I think guys on the whole will consider looks. Personally I'm a dance fanatic so will dance with any lady (favouring dance characteristics).

There's more to life than that though.

Keep doing what you need to do to be happy.

I read this cool book called "Who Moved My Cheese". Worth reading as is shows how to seek new things within your environment to be happy. (Even if you're currently satisfied). I've recommended this book to the best of my friends to learn general problem solving ideas.

I'd like to share the benefit of reading up on Social Network Theory. I recently have and it has change my outlook very much. It's rather technical and mathematical (mostly beyond me) but it deals with many profound concepts. I've employed many new ideas in my life as a result and have had amazing returns.

I bet that if you worked hard at dancing you could awe people since they may be naive about what it takes to be a good dancer and show a kind of beauty that the average person can't manage.