There's two kinds of dancers, those who understand what they are doing and how they learned it, and those who can just do it without knowing why. The kind who can just do may well look down on everyone who can't, because they don't understand that learning is a process that results from effort applied under skilled guidance.

The kind that understand what we do and how we learned it tend to look down on those who are too unfocused to make a real effort to learn. When we're in a more generous mood we rememeber that not everyone really cares as much about quality and so we respect the unschooled social dancers for finding a simpler way to have fun. And when we're feeling insightfull, we recognize that the the problem with the less succesfull students is not always lack of effort, but often just as much lack of effective guidance... we look at someone the natural dancers would call hopeless, and figure they could be good if they really wanted to and found a better teacher.

It doesn't matter how much you spend on lessons. Some people do not learn as quickly as others. I have to agree that studios should teach their students how to dance and not what to dance. That is one thing I am greatful for. I have learnt how to dance and am able to dance with anyone who can lead. Many of the students where I am now learn choreography, but do not know how to lead the choreography, let alone lead anything outside of the choreography. They dance at high levels, but can nto really "dance".

As far as beginners not dancing anymore because of the better dancers looking down at them, I have seen it both ways. Personally I normally look up to those better than I am, especially when I was a beginner. However the better dancers around me were friendly and always willing to help the newer people. That is not so everywhere. You fun into many people who only stick with their partners and will only dance with people who are their own level at socials. That can be discouraging as a beginner.