Hi there!
Just wanted to thank you for taking the time to reply to my e-mail...such a tough situation I am in! I think I am going to try to take some private lessons and get some more information about the available "dance parties." Truth be told, I am quite torn. I want to dance so terribly bad, but the thought of going out dancing with other fellas is rather awkward for me.
It sounds like you are having an absolute blast...kind of what I have in mind! JUST DANCING. For some reason, I have this stigma I just can't get over. It seems okay for a solo guy, married or not, to go dancing...whereas, as lady would never do something like that. Guess it's just something I'll have to get over. Thanks again for your words of wisdom and happy dancing!
-Robin

It is a fact that the women usually out-number the men in social dances. From what I have observed however, the people who go to our local ballroom dances are truly there to dance and not to "pick-up" anyone. I would encourage you to go to as many dances that you can find in your area (there is at least one every night of the week in the Buffalo area), and don't be afraid to ask men to dance.
We were at a local studio dance on Friday and there were at least 50 people there and the men were outnumbered by 6 women. That meant that those 6 women had to sit out dances until someone asked them to dance or vice-versa.

I want to second the idea that, at studios, JUST DANCING is what it's all about. If you're basing your concerns on experience going dancing at clubs, try to think of going dancing at a studio as a totally different thing. A lot of studio call their parties "practice parties," because that is what they are for--a chance for the studio's students to practice what they are learning. In my experience, even single people are often hesitant to get involved with people they meet at studio parties, because if it doesn't work out, it might be uncomfortable continuing to go to the dance! I'm single and I certainly feel that way--the dancing is far more important.

Once you find a place to take lessons, your instructor can ease your way into the studio parties. If he goes to the parties, he will dance with you. Either way, you can ask him to introduce you to other people who attend the parties, especially other women. I was really grateful that a woman who'd been going to the parties for a while took me "under her wing" at my first party.

In my experience, ballroom dancers are very nice people and the men generally pride themselves on being gentlemen and treating the ladies they dance with well.

I am in the same boat. Started dancing a year ago with hubby then he backed out on me so I quit. But I am back in the swing of things and flying solo in the dance situation. To be honest, it doesn't really bother me much as we were on completely different levels of dance and it was kind of frustrating because I felt stuck. I do wish he would take a more active interest but maybe I will just teach him at home in a comfortable environment for him so eventually one day we can dance together. I too worry about the practice parties..feel kind of wall flowerish but I'm sure this to will pass. I started out at AM which was great but not worth the price in my opinion. I now have an independent instructer and am much happier. Good Luck to you.

I waited a long time before I took lessons because I didn't have a partner who was interested....but when I turned 50 I figured now or never...my partner has no interest, but I just started going alone to lessons and dances and I have met a great group of people.
JiminBuffalo, I am interested to know if you've noticed, though, that at most of the dances I have gone to, most couples seem to dance together or within a very small group of friends. Some of the older leads take seriously the "etiquette" of making sure all the single follows have a chance, but not everyone. I also noticed that it is very rare to see two women dancing togther - when I was growing up that was very common - because most of the men didn't want to dance and their wives did....

Hi!
Glad to hear that you are not letting "the partner issue" keep you from dancing. Speaking of the parties, I went to one last night. It was my first practice party and I was kind of leary about going...didn't want to be the only one not dancing. I have to admit that I danced a lot more than I expected and I wasn't the only one there "solo!" There was another female who came solo so she and I took turns dancing with the instructor. It was such a blast! It IS really tough not having a partner. I mean, taking the lessons is great and going to the practice parties is super, but I'd really like to go out dancing. Are you having trouble dancing with someone other than your spouse? I have to admit it's rather strange and quite awkward. Dancing is so intimate and it kind of gives me the heebies being so close to someone other than my husband. Guess I'll have to get over it! Have fun dancing and all the best to you!
-Robin

You would be soooo shocked as to how many married folks out there with the same problem as you, including myself. I have been dancing at AM and you would not beleive how many married ladies there that are there alone because our husbands have no interest. And we would just love to have a partner JUST TO DANCE with. Women outnumber the men because men don't like to dance so there are few available men and those that are available, understandably go for the single ladies. It's difficult to find a partner if your married.

Amen, Sister! Couldn't have said it better myself. It's an unforunate situation for us, but it has been reassuring and inspiring for me, personally. I thought I was in the minority...quite the contrary! It makes me feel better knowing that other married women aren't sacrificing their passion to dance just because their husbands aren't interested. I would be happiest dancing with my husband, but hey, at least I am dancing again. I was miserable when I wasn't dancing.

I thought I was the only one in this situation... When I tell people I'm learning ballroom dancing and my husband is NOT, people give me a strange look as ask how I can do that, go dancing with other guys, bla bla bla. I have to tell you that I felt very bad in the beginning when I would get these reactions, and started questioning what I was doing, if it really was wrong for me to go dancing. On the other hand, my husband is totally secure and open-minded about the issue, and he knows I'd love for him to come dance with me, but since it's his choice not to, he just supports me. He knows it makes me happy and the fact that I'm happy makes our relationship even better. I've only been dancing for 3 months, and I'm totally hooked.
The place I dance at hosts a party at a bar on Friday nights. I went there once, by myself, and I don't think I'll do that ever again. None of my friends dance so I can't convince them to go with me, but I did feel unconfortable being at a bar bymyself! Maybe that's just my personality... I definitely don't mind going to the social dancing events every weekend though, since the majority of the people go there by themselves.
Keep on dancing!
Angelica

My school hosts a party every sunday at a disco (which happens to be two buildings down).
I am single and so are a lot of the other people who go.
We have one table reserved for the instructors and the table next to it reserved for new students. That way even instructors you might not have met at school know to keep an eye on you as can older students.
Some of our instructors will introduce you to older students so you start dancing with more people. I danced my first walz that way two months ago. I walked up to the lady a couple of weeks ago and asked her for a thankyou walz now that I actually know a couple of things and dont just stand there with feet glued to the floor. We had a very good time.

Now I dance with about ten different ladies a night plus instructors.
I try to be the one doing the asking but sometimes I get a bit shy with my two months when the lady has two years of lessons.
I have been asked to dance quite often, I usually say yes and I normally return to ask for another dance later on.
I have said no when asked to dance when it was a dance I didnt know or when I just wanted to sit out one dance to have a sip of orange juice. When I decline a dance I always promise the next one.

I have yet to see someone try to "hit" on a woman at one of the parties. The people who know how to dance arent there for that, and those that have such motivations are too intimidated by the fact that they can't dance

My only problem is when older women tell me while we dance what a nice couple that one girl and I make and I have to tell them that thank you but she is my instructor