Hi Thanks to Larry and Anonymous. It is true sometimes we misjudge. Here's a funny story. A man I often see had given off an impression that I should not ask, or I thought he was a bit aloof or "too good to dance with me." One night at a social he accidentally knocked his partner into me, hitting me in the head. He was so apologetic and gave me a dance to make up for it. I told him not to worry, I've been hit worse before! But since then, he will ask me to dance and I found out he is a nice guy. So, we broke the ice...with my head!

I would still like some comment on how to handle rejecting someone because they have hurt me in the past. Still baffled on that one.

Thanks!

If you want to dance with him, say yes but tell him that you can't spin because you have a shoulder injury that's healing. I usually resist being dipped by anyone I don't know and trust, but I excuse it by saying "sorry, back problem."

You could be honest and say, "I'd like to, but I found your lead a bit too forceful last time. Can we try a gentler connection?"

If you think he's really a menace to anyone he dances with, you might say something to the organizer of the dance.

Thanks Ellen, I suppose I should try that. Everyone deserves a second chance.