Wow! Thanks for sharing that. I had no idea asking could be so complicated. As a woman, I usually wait to be asked and I only ask dancers who are on my level or less advanded than I am, because I fear imposing on the better dancers (at my studio, most of them either look unhappy when they dance with me, or try to teach while we're dancing, which is even worse). The few who are really good enough dancers to adjust to me and make it fun for both of us are rare, and I don't want to impose on them either! At the moment there aren't very many dancers on my level going to the studio parties, so I'm on the verge of taking a break from the parties.

This isn't directed at anyone in particular, but: There is something to be said for not imposing too much on dancers more advanced than you. However, unless you are just painfully awful (literally painful to dance with), do you really think a person would rather sit out all night rather than dance with you? If they're far above you, ask them once per night. It's good for you to dance with someone better, and at least they're dancing. More than that might be an imposition unless they're plainly excited to dance with you and ask you back. Does that make sense?

Yes, you do have a point. Most people would probably prefer to dance with someone below their level than not dance at all. And I do put a limit of once, *maybe* twice, per night for the high level dancers. It depends a bit and I have a sort disjoint perception about level, too. For some reason, the women I saw come up through classes and such to pass me seem closer to my level than the women who were always better than me. I will sometimes ask women from either group, but I think I lean towards asking the ones who passed me more often than the ones who were always above me. (Another factor in my asking decision, but anyway.)

Maybe it's different where you are, but here it seems that the advanced dancers rarely have trouble getting partners. Many times they're the ones who get asked for the next dance before they can even leave the floor because they're such popular partners that everyone wants a chance to dance with them. Sometimes the difficulty for them is getting a break. They're in such high demand that they'll have to turn down requests in order to rest or socialize a bit and talk with people. I've rarely been turned down when I ask them, probably because I ask them so infrequently that they don't want to turn me down when I do, but just being at the dances I see that they do have to turn down requests in order to get breaks.

This was really an intersting posts and I enjoyed reading all the comments.... Oh no, I will try not to be "snooty or what" to call myself an advanced dancer...

But as a dancer who dances with a partner, and works always just on our routines, we tend to miss the fun of new steps, or just something I have not danced in a while.

When someone asks me to dance, it is so much fun because they are usually either teaching me a new social step, or something I have not danced in a long time. Really, I am as much afraid of you as a beginner as you are of me..... I do so much wish that I would be asked to dance more often in a social setting.....Love to dance with my husband/partner, but in a social setting sure would appreciate an extending hand just to play!!