David,

Encourage your friend to take dance lessons so his wife doesn't have to feel uncomfortable or outraged by being forced to sit all night and watch other people have fun.

At the moment it appears he's foisting his own insecurities on her.

Take no excuses from him. We were all in the same boat. I was the typical male, dragged down to my first lessons, kicking and screaming, by my wife. In fact, I was tricked into it by my wife and her best friend who told us we were going for coffee. Only coffee turned out to be after a dance lesson at the YM/YWCA.

In the beginning I took every excuse to be affronted. They were just excuses from my own insecurities. I led an industrial hockey league in penalties for years. Now I teach ballroom.

Tell this party-pooper to get his @$$ out of the chair and get with the program (said with humour).

BTW: I emcee a ballroom competition every year. From the podium, and, during general dancing, I watch as the Chairman of the Dance Committee circulates and asks visiting women to dance. He does not ask the husbands for permission.

OB (in Victoria, BC)

David,

...a dance instructor, who had to have noticed that he did not dance... (excuse the dangling elipsis Dr. D.)

Note: When dance teachers dance they want people to look at them, not the other way round.

OB

At a ball, gentlemen are expected not to be wall flowers; if there is a lady without a partner, it is usually a considerate gesture for the gentleman to offer to dance with her. At social functions, it is usually expected that a husband and wife would like to talk to other people, which is why husbands and wives are generally never seated next to each other at a formal dinner (which often precedes the ball). If a couple wants to spend time with each other, they should do it at home, and not a social function. At a dance, each man should try to the best of his ability to dance with the lady seated to his left and right during the dinner, if there was one, and he must dance with his escort and the hostess.
David, please advise your friend not to be offended; it was probably a well-intended and polite gesture on the part of the dance instructor to offer to dance, especially after he noticed that her partner did not.