Wouldn't it be nice if we had different weight just like prize fighting. I agree with somebody who wrote above. Take a good look at your costume both man and lady. I've seen some shockers which were embarressing to watch. A little advice from the teacher wouldn't go astray

You have to see things as they really are. Nobody would go to see an elephant on ice skates would they. The same thing competitively as a dancer it just wont work.

Dear All,
Just discovered this thread and poor Laura's probably lost 3 stone by now, but as a 6" 2' near enough 20 stone (that's about 280 lbs in US money!) dancer I HAD to contribute.

The answer is just do it and enjoy it. At one point I lost 4 stones, but I was doing a lot of dancing then. Everything everyone has said about dancing helping with keeping fit and improving one's lifestyle is spot on.

I'm surprisingly light on my feet and can fairly rattle round the floor. You've no idea how much the sight of a 20 stone man with a short side of running finishes into a full long side of scatters and skips can improve other people's floorcraft!!! ENJOY!!

DGcasey. I used to think that to. Untill I saw a guy with no tan. On the floor he looked like a dead person. Most of the people where I live with the climate as it is get a tan whether they like it or not. But live in those places where they see the sun now and again without make up on look as if they should be on the table in Crossing Jordan. On TV they look even worse. You do know that if you apeared on camera you would be wearing make up also

• I'm reminded of an old commercial as a Big guy myself maybe in stick in my head more. This huge man goes into a dance club takes off his street shoes and can hardly tie his dance shoe everyone's looking at him with that smile that we on the larger side folks have all saw before. He moves over to the hottest dancer in the place as a Tango starts. Now you could see she had no expectation and really didn't want to but she did dance with him.. by the end they had the floor to their selves, while everyone watch the grace in which they danced. I guess what I'm trying to say, I'm 290 on the dance floor just as I am in life, but I dance and side by side as graceful as the 180 fit guys. I CAN TWINKLE AND WEAVE with the best of them, If you love to dance, Dance have fun if you dance enough to go pro, you'll be fit! Above all have fun.

We are in the same boat and have met a lot of other people that feel the same way. It seems like people who compete don't understand why us social dancers want to improve and how much fun a lot of us have at dances.

I'm understand your frustrations and fears over starting dance as an overweight woman. I am too...I just had my one year dance anniversary and I am happier than ever that I made the choice to follow that dream. I have had several great instructors and other students who were encouraging along the way. If you have the heart and desire, go for it.

I'm healthier than I've even been and lighter on my toes than I ever used to be and I'm losing weight, too. I started losing before I started dancing, and I lost probably 120 lbs. before I got the guts to do it. Since then I lost another 50 lbs. or so.

Yeah, I don't look like any of the other skinny bimbettes on the floor and I don't want to. I'm happy just succeeding at the goals I set and loving the dancing. I'm hooked...I've done several performance showcases and competed in American Rhythm and soon I'll be competing in both Rhythm and Smooth. I don't go into looking to win, I like the feel of the performance and the competition and it's more like I compete against myself to improve something about each dance from the last one. It's not about winning for me, so I don't worry about what the judges think.

Yes, there are the naggy naysayers and I just write them off because they haven't a clue what it's like to be the fat lady. On the flip side of that I've had loads and loads of praise for having the guts to do it, and when other dancers see me improve and respect me for working hard it completely blows the other idiots out of the water.

I wish you the best of luck and feel free to send me a message if you have any questions or need some encouragement.

I can't imagine not having dance in my life, but I have learned that there are a lot of very insecure people (the narcissistic types who care as much about body image as they do about the dancing itself). I feel sorry for them, but don't let it stop you. NOT EVERYONE IS LIKE THAT. If you have a strong sense of self, and have FUN with your dancing you will attract people who will support you and share in your fun. I have met some of the kindest, "funnest" people through dancing. If you aren't finding them in one studio, try another! But by all means...DANCE! You will feel better regardless of your ultimate goals.

After dancing for 6 years, one thing that has become obvious to me. The unattached dancers put much more emphasis on attitude, than on appearance. I have seen quite a few hot ladies with bad attitudes, sitting most of the time at a dance. Also ladies well over their ideal weight, spending most of the dance on the dance floor, because of their attitude.

Please, don't stop dancing for this reason!

There must be a venue, a forum, an area of service where you can love doing what you do so well without getting sucked into negativity.

I think of Lee Ann Womack's song -

Whenever one door closes, I hope one more opens
Promise me you'll give faith a fighting chance

And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance
I hope you dance
I hope you dance

I hope you never fear those mountains in the distance
Never settle for the path of least resistance
Living might mean taking chances
But they're worth taking
Lovin' might be a mistake
But it's worth making
Don't let some hell bent heart
Leave you bitter
When you come close to selling out
Reconsider
Give the heavens above
More than just a passing glance

And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance
I hope you dance