I take lessons and compete and am serious about my dancing hobby. Only a handful of other males at my studio and area are that serious about dancing. The serious females, especially over 40 out number the men 5 to 1 and most of them dance Pro Am. Most guys will just take studio classes or social classes and not take privates to really improve their dancing. I have noticed that fewer women in their 20's and 30's take that many privates--probably due to money or it takes away from looking for Mr. Right at other places.

It is better for everyone, men included, if guys take more lessons and work on improving. It helps the overall quality of dancing and there are more trained partners to dance with.
It is not helping me or my partner if another guy is relying on a smile and a shoeshine and not working on his dancing.

There is lots of comraderie and support with the guys in my area that take regular lessons. Dancing is use it or lose it. Keep taking lessons or go backwards.

I also see some young ladies in their 20's out of jazz or ballet studios that could be great, but they just don't keep coming back. Ballroom is just not part of their social circle or budget at this time in their life.

Overall, I don't think dancing is such a great place to meet Mr. or Ms. Right.
It is a great place to make friends that you have something in common with.
However, most of the time you don't talk to other dancers that much because everyone is dancing, listening to music, or watching others dance.

"but I've found that quite a few of the older men I've encountered at the studio ARE on the quest for something more than social dance, which is unfortunate."

Why is that unfortunate?

Why is it reasonable to expect someone who spends too much time working on their dancing to be involved with anyone outside the dance world to remain celibate?

I find that Salsa has a wider age distribution than ballroom (towards the younger side).

Too young for me but I'm not there for dating though.

In my community Swing is totally age independent. Seems logical as swing has been in popular culture for a long while whereas Salsa is fairly new to pop culture so its still at risk of being seen as a fad by younger people.

Me and my wife started ballroom dancing about 5 years ago. Occasionally we go to swing dances and there seems to be more younger 20-40 singles at swing dances. My theory is young singles tend to perfer going to dances with 1 style of dance ( swing, salsa, AT, etc. ). Because it is easier to do 1 dance with 10-20 different people, than to do 12-15 different dances with 10-20 different partners.

At ballroom dances I also noticed singles tend to dance with others from the same studios, since they learn the same moves and have an understanding of the skill level of each other.

For our studio I disagree. We have a shortage of men in their 20s or 30s. We have a good number of ladies in their 20s and 30s. I'm 24 and its true ballroom is an expensive hobby. Not many people that age can afford it but if you love it then you find a way. You just sacrifice things. . like food, entertainment like concerts and outings with friends.

To the guys--start dancing with the women who are about 15-20 years too old for you and if you are a nice polite young man and they like you, then the female match-making gene will kick in and you may find yourself introduced.

Another option, ask the women you know and like as friends who are single to take a dance class with you at your expense. Perhaps someone you already like will fall in love with dance and you will have gained a dance partner.

Just because girls in their 20's drop out, that doesn't mean that women who are the right age for you could not be introduced to dance by you after you meet elsewhere.

Have fun with it. I probably made the rounds of the men I knew who were the right age for me about once a year, asking any and all single guy friends if they would take a dance class with me. Each time they all said NO (except William who loved to dance in his youth but could safely say yes because he was using a walker!!) ...until Gary. The least likely man to dance.

He is a slow learner but I finally have a dance partner who is just right--unless I get good enough to want to compete and then I'll have problems. Not likely though--but a girl can dream and work toward that goal!

A couple of years ago, an old dance instructor paired me with a 20-year old woman (a soccer player; I've mentioned her before). She was willing to put up with dancing with an old man to learn some ballroom skills. She is quite good-looking, too.

We made it almost a year and a half before her interest started to wane (when soccer season started again); we even tried competing (without winning anything). Eventually, our generational differences caught up with us and I ended the partnership.

Other guys (and gals, I guess) can try the same thing; find some young person who really wants to learn and give them the opportunity. Of course, you need to be able to keep up with them; they don't want to learn to dance like an old goat.



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