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Dance partnership breakups
Posted by Anonymous
10/8/2006  8:10:00 AM
Dance partnerships have to be classified as one of the strangest relationships ever--especially if you have really improved together and were at one time romantically involved.

My off and on partnership has finally split after 6 years. We were involved romantically for about 3 years and tried to dance for the sake of our dancing for the next 3 years. It is not easy to break off a partnership--it has more to do with the dancing created by you together than the friendship, love or whatever. Your whole relationship is based on dance, discussing dance, and improving--very one dimensional.

Why the breakup? Not having the same goals or the feeling that you're in some type of time warp with another person and can't seem to figure out how to get out of it. You are sick of the under currents of bickering of your diminishing relationship. Or one of you attempts to get another love interest and it interferes with your dancing--especially if the other love interest is a dancer too. There you are with your dance partner and the other person is there and just feels uncomfortable. And more trouble than it's worth.

When you break up in regular relationships you probably will never see the other person again. With dancing they are still going to the same social scenes and events. Dancing is a very small world and lots of cat fights going on and jealousy. A clean break up is when you quit dancing socially and communicating with each other. This is like some type of withdrawal since a chunk of your life is being removed. But this is the only way to stop the partnership. Being friends and to continue social dancing didn't work for me and just delayed a break up for 3 years.
Re: Dance partnership breakups
Posted by Anonymous
10/8/2006  9:41:00 AM
"When you break up in regular relationships you probably will never see the other person again. "

Not necessarily true unless you remain bitter enough to avoid each other or the only reason for you to regularly cross paths was your relationship.

If you were friends before, there's a decent chance of being somewhat friendly a suitable time afterwards.
Re: Dance partnership breakups
Posted by Juice23
10/8/2006  12:13:00 PM
I've heard of dancers who've broken up romantically but still remain good friends and are successful competitors- i.e. Klaus and Viktoria, Jonathan and Katusha, Eugene and Maria
Re: Dance partnership breakups
Posted by Anonymous
10/8/2006  12:59:00 PM
I just got through with a 2 hour conversation with my dance partner and we did some renegotiating on our partnership. We reminded each other how
much time and money that we have invested in dance and how long we have been dancing and how much we have improved--plus there is a upcoming competition.

My biggest irritation is the lack of practice time and that we practice while dancing socially. To add to this distraction we both dance with lots of people--which is fun for both of us. My partner dances with everyone including beginners and wolfy guys that are there to pick up ladies. It's these wolfy guys that irritate me at social scenes. They do all kinds of stuff like extended hand holding and hugging.
I called my partners attention to this and made her more aware of her being disrespectful--I don't flirt or execessively hug around with other ladies when we are out together and respect her being there. We agreed that we have a business relationship with dance and tentatively agreed to keep dancing together since we would be throwing away so much.

Neither one of us are in a personal relationship now, but if someone pops up it may be a problem. I date or go out out to non dance events but my main social life is with my partner practicing. So we are both limited due to the time we spend together dancing.
And if either one of us find someone--the other needs to sort of approve or be aware of the potential aggravation with a spouse or boy or girl friend.

If I had an available comparable partner I would bolt. Oh well, at least with dance partnerships splitting you don't have a community property settlement. Nothing is forever.
Friends and dance partners after love.
This is not easy to do.
Re: Dance partnership breakups
Posted by Anonymous
10/9/2006  7:01:00 AM
Every relationship whether it's dance, friend, dance teacher, business partner, employee, lover, husband or wife has an aggravation level that you could chart weekly to determine how things are going. The chart will flucuate up and down weekly, monthly, quarterly and yearly--just like a stock or a good or bad investment.

In dance partnerships there are many things that can contribute to a high aggravation level that may induce you to "call it quits" or consider one thing the "last straw" that broke the camels back.

My dance partnership aggravation level is running high now and here are a few things could have contributed. However, some of the things that contributed are very little things that just build up and they lurk in you sub conscious waiting to boil over.

1. Lack of respect for practice time or setting aside time for technique practice.

2. Being respectful to your partner while dancing. One has a enough trouble with navigating floor craft while dancing and if a partner is critiqueing technique it's very difficult to dance--bad habit.

3. Patners personal life is overflowing into your dance partnership--too many ongoing recurring problems, social life, too much work or something else is creating stress and leaving little time or energy for your dancing.

4. Refusal to dance certain dances or figures and unwilling to try and work out the kinks.

5. If there is love and sex involved one can probably be more patient, but if not it just a balancing act of having a business parner or possibly a friend.

What is your aggravation level with your partner and is it on the brink of "throwing in the towel"? What causes it to flucuate?

Re: Dance partnership breakups
Posted by Maria
10/10/2006  2:01:00 PM
Hi:
For 14 years it was a wonderful relationship. The first seven we had a romantic and intimate one, in addition to our dancing four times a week. We were very happy, but I probably wanted more than he did. He didn't have much to offer so it was better to continue that way.
I did stop the intimate relationship but we kept on dancing and they were wonderful years that will never forget. I missed him very much. He died a year ago.
It is very difficult to find another lover/dancer partner but I won't give up.
Let's keep on dancing.
Good luck!!!



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