Well, you can certainly learn some basics of dancing from books or videos. They're just not the best way to learn -- you can't get any feedback and tell if you're really doing it right or not. I'm not sure doing this stops your skills, but what it can do is give you bad habits that once started are difficult to break. The main problem with partner dancing like this is that if you get into bad habits with your regular partner, you may find it very difficult to dance with someone else because you and your partner have been compensating for each other's little mistakes to make it work for you two that they've turned into bad habits that won't work with other dancers. But any time you try to learn something without a teacher you run the risk of getting into bad habits. It's up to you to decide how to handle it.
If you can't find any dance teachers or friends who dance that could help you, then you'll have to try books and/or videos if the only other option is not learning at all. Videos are probably better because you can see all of the movements and exactly how they're done. Rewind and replay as much as you want, in slow motion if that helps, and you should be able to learn things fairly well if you have good "copy what I do" learning skills. There has to be video material available for the European market; I think that at least two major ballroom dance organizations are based in the UK. They can't make everything in American video formats. I can't really help you on that though because I'm in the US; I don't know where to find non-US videos. Books can also be useful, but they can be a little hard to understand, especially the usual technique books you'll probably see mentioned here on technical subjects. They generally do describe the steps and figures pretty well, but it takes a little knowledge and practice to be able to read the books and understand what they're saying. Some books are easier to understand than others though, I'm sure. Another thing you could do is ask others to help teach you. When you're at some social dance and watching everyone dance, try asking a person or couple to show you a basic step or two. Most dancers are generally friendly and will try to help you if you ask. At the college night social dances I go to, we often see some people helping teach the basics to others. That's probably a little different atmosphere from what you'll encounter, but I think dancers are generally the same. If you ask for help, someone will probably be willing to try to give you some. And the best thing about this, from the learning aspect, is that you can get feedback on how you're doing -- something you won't normally get if you're forced to use books and videos to teach yourself.
Well, I hope this is of some help to you. Good luck, I hope you're able to find some suitable solution to your problem.
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James Marshall
marshall@astro.umd.edu http://www.astro.umd.edu/~marshall 
