This thread is mistitled; the subject line should read "Teacher crush."

Other than that, the thread is quite entertaining. I always known how silly women can be about their instructors but it's nice to have the facts articulated.

BTW, men can do the same thing but usually don't for some reason. Not sure why. It's not like the female instructors aren't cute.

jj

Ask him for a date,if he turns you down then you know it's all an act to keep you as a sudent and not very ethical.

I agree with your advice, but i did not mention above that he already has a girlfriend which i just found out, so i do not know if i should tell him how i feel, because it might just make dancing with him uncomfrontable for me and him, but if he did not like me then why am i the only student he hugs when i leave?

Ho do you know you are the only student he hugs? Are you there all day long? If the student before you is, for example, married or an older lady, he might not hug them, but would hug other students.

I'd keep it to myself if I were you. Ask yourself how you would feel afterward if you told him and he turned you down. Would you be comfortable dancing with him then?

Also consider that, if he has a girlfriend and is flirting for real with you, then he's a player. Do you really want to get involved with someone who will flirt like that with other women if you were his girlfriend?

Leave it alone and wait for the feelings to pass. They will.

i agree with your opinion ! but i want to add something over this discuss ! i have seen in lots of studios that it depends on what people realy want by doing lessons in a dance studio ! i have seen in studios where people do social dancing teachers become more psychologists than dance instructors ......
some people just dance and say (come and dance with me at the moonlight and have sex) and some others just say ! let's go and show of on competitions but if you ever think of sex il'kick your a..... where u'd ever believe ! others just go there to meet people ! it happens and i have seen it a lot !
i don't know what is right and wrong !

I'd guess that about 90% of students have some kind of crushy feelings about their instructor at some point. It's almost inevitable--here you are, in the arms of a (usually) attractive person who is extremely nice to you and totally focused on you. It's only human to respond to that situation.

His flirting and hugging may be natural to him (dancers get used to physical contact and are often more touchy-feely than non-dancers), it may be a way to add a little spice to the lesson without meaning anything further, or it may be a deliberate ploy to get you "hooked" on him and willing to buy more lessons.

But whichever it is, remember that, while he is your only dance instructor, you are one of many students and he probably behaves the same way to all of them. It is far less personal to him than it is to you.

Many studios have non-fraternization policies, so the likelihood of any relationship developing outside the lessons is just about zero. (Ironically, that policy makes it more likely that teachers will flirt because they have any easy out if someone responds by asking them out.)

My advice is to realize that it's just a crush based on the circumstances, that it's not going to go anywhere, and enjoy the warm feelings you have without needing to act on them. If his flirting makes you uncomfortable or fans the flames of your crush too much, ask him to tone it down. or if necessary, switch to a different teacher.

I was so appreicated to read your posts. Smart Ellen , you always provided good advices.

This is a hard because we don't know the situation. However, I've been taking lesson for about a year and had a major crush on my instructor. I wasn't sure if he liked me or was just being nice. Well we just celebrated our six month anniversary----so you never know...Just remember if this does become something more---please keep it low key and professional...You don't want to advertise an instructor dating a student....Like a said it depends on the situation. My friend has been married for 5 years and she met her husband while getting an eye exam (he was the Doctor)...........So you never know:)))))

My advice to you is to listen to Ellen! Her words helped me about a year ago. If you cannot get over your crush, you should seek another instructor. Simply put if he really was interested in you he would tell you. I know Ellen's words do not make you feel good, but it is difficult for you to think of it in a clear-headed fashion right now, so please listen to her.

I'm glad to know I helped. I do get a little blunt about this issue, but I know how seductive those crushy feelings can be and I'm trying to provide a reality check!