I appreciate your perspectives so much JJ. You are truly the consummate professional. I don't even begin to pretend to understand how you perceive the underlying issues I have.

Thank you for being on this chat board.

Belle

Strength, as I tell my new boys, is NOT physical force. It is CLARITY in decisive action.

There are various exercises that could be done to improve lead-follow- and people often don't even spend time on them because they're "not dancing". Actually, they ARE, but they don't "look like dancing", and many are of the philosophy "I just want to dance"- Yeah, great, so learn how to first

Just ask your pro "Are there any basic, simple exercises we can do together to improve my following? I feel like I'm missing some of your leads, having to recover, and would like to be able to feel communication through your leads more clearly and easily"- Verbose, but you shouldn't expect less from me.

As a dancer, lead or follow, one should always learn dance vocabulary, it's a large part of what you're doing. Another person won't see that you KNOW an alemana, only that you can't DO it... (and only because you're still trying to think, Now... what IS that...)

In my philosophy, I take from both my dance 'parents': One is very "by the book, no-frills, no fun, theoretic and applied until your brain turns to what we all refer to is "ballroom goo". The other is very application oriented, and will have you doing things and remembering how to lead or follow them with or without vocabulary in minimal time. One's more for school, one's more for fun, so we've taken the fun and mixed with the nerd, and so far, it's worked.

Disclaimer: This is not an invitation for unsolicited apart-picking of ours or our coaches' methods- although, as it's the internet and open-forum, it's likely inevitable

In my experience, when the lady is concerned, or even complaining, that her partner is not leading properly, it usually means there could be an equal problem. in other words, there isn't enough resistance or forward energy coming from both partners to create that connection. Or sometimes the arms are not in the proper place and there is a loss of connection and feel. jj had a great analogy about a month ago in saying that the woman should feel the connection all the way to back of the shoulders, not just in the hands, so that the man can know his signals are being felt, almost like handle-bars on a bike. I loved that example, and have since used it in a couple of lessons with great success because the student can visualize that. I also believe that part of the problem with males who could be categorized as weak in their leads stems from the fact that they have a hard time thinking a few steps or sequences of steps ahead of themselves. In other words, even though they know he steps and have practiced them, they aren't entirely confident of going from one to another and being able to communicate that clearly to their partner.