As an older couple dancing for almost 6 years, the last three including some competition, I would like to share our experience. We social dance as well which includes salsa, merengue, WC swing, and some American Smooth and Rhythm, but our competitive choices are Latin and Standard. Socially all of it is lead and follow and my wife is showered with praise for her ability to follow almost anything. Granted she cannot always do every step if she hasn't learned it before. I have also been told I have a good lead. That is not a STRONG lead, jerking my partner around the floor, but changing weight, direction, turn (CBM) at the appropriate time so my partner can respond correctly.

As a lead I find the sequence to be learn the elements of motion both Latin and Standard, learn the step and how the elements are applied, learn how they affect my partner and learn how it fits into what step I did before and what follows.

In Latin, a lot of what we do is a routine, but I feel better having shorter patterns and sequences with a plan of how they should go together, instead of an immutable routine that if cut off or run into I must almost restart to recover. Then I can restart a sequence and mix and match as needed. This is still more of a goal and I realize especially with Paso Doble the whole routine will be choreographed. The importance of connection cannot be overstated, the give and take of energy, momentum, direction and timing through a single handhold is a lifetime work-in-progress.

In Standard however, I truly have learned lead and follow and yes there are still sequences that are planned to show the judges the best. However many options can still remain, as at a certain point I can do "any reverse figure" or "any natural figure." I am much more comfortable dancing standard on a crowded floor because I know I have options and in closed position, I am always able to lead.

I see a big problem with Smooth and Rhythm because all the open work, if agreed to between partners, becomes very hard to change and lead something different. I see more than a few gentlemen leading patterns they have learned with their teachers and insisting on finishing them even though running their partner into another couple.

I want to be able to lead any lady but partners that don't understand or sense how connection works cannot be led beyond a certain level. A lead also cannot expect to lead a good dancer to do steps beyond his level. My wife describes good leads as trying more complex leads and steps until/unless she shows she doesn't know that. In a social setting, a gentleman shouldn't really teach on the floor. When he discovers the partners limits, he needs to stay within them and give her the best dance possible. As should be remembered, the man shows the lady off, he should never show her up.

Someone mentioned gentlemen in salsa, leading multiple partners through complex sequences effortlessly. My wife is from Puerto Rico and some of the dancers she knew danced from being 3-5 years old. They have a wonderful feel how different steps fit together and can vary the sequences at will. That is something that is very difficult to teach, and sometimes shows an inborn talent that few others can emulate. We are all on a strange and wonderful journey, I hope we don't get stuck arguing semantics.

Jon