Hello! I luv this site.Everyone has been so nice and helpfull. I have a problem. I attend a swing dance every sunday with some people my age( high school age) and we dance. There is a lot of older folks there too. I am having trouble asking the men to dance with me. I get so nervouse and I end up not dancing. Can anyone give me some advice on how to ask someone to dance?

hey! im in high school too so i know its not easy! i would just approach them with a smile and ask them their name if you dont know. Once you kind of warm up to each other ask if he would like to dance. Who knows..if the first dance goes well, then there should be more! Remember that they are probably just as nervous as you are. So good luck, smile, and have fun!!

The very best way to get your feet wet is to get someone up there on the dance floor that knows less then you. You can then show your partner the basic steps and it will be a real good boost to your own confidence. The next dance you can pick a partner at your own level and then just have fun. If you can't muster the courage to ask someonem then stand nearby and tap your toes to the music and of course smile. You will get noticed and you will get asked to dance!

p,

In social settings a lot of men are self-concious about their dancing and are afraid to ask incase the lady thinks they are not up to snuff.

We have a Club that had close to 1,000 members at one time. There are a lot of extra ladies. Many have learned to be aggressive and ask the men.

Men like to be asked too.

OB

Thank you and everyone very much for the advice. I'll try to use them tonoght because I'm going to the sunday dance tonight. If anyone thinks of something to add,feel free to do so. There no such thng as too much good advice.

Well, I'd suggest you start by trying to find someone who looks like he wants to dance. Someone standing near the dance floor tapping his feet/fingers to the beat is probably a better bet than someone sitting down on the side chatting with friends. As KShipper said, doing this yourself can also help increase your chances of being asked to dance. Then try the things others said -- go up to him, ask his name, do a little small-talk, and then you can ask him to dance (if he doesn't ask you first).

operabob has a good point that men can be self-concious, worried that the women won't enjoy dancing with them. And men do like to be asked, too. For one thing, it's probably the easiest way to know that a woman enjoys dancing with you. Most people won't turn down dance requests, if only to be polite. If someone never asks you, it's easy to think they don't enjoy it and are just being polite. If you ask them, you're telling them you enjoy dancing with them and that's good to know. :)

Phantom: All the opinions posted are right on. Ya just gotta go get em. What's the worst case scenario? He says "no". Think "Oh well his loss". Move on to the next one and then once you are "established" you wont be able to sit down long enough to take a breath before you are being asked again.

Men don't mind being asked to dance - honest!
Put yourself in the mindset of a man - he doesn't want to risk being turned down either - it's natural. So avoid giving the impression that you're not 'available' for dancing. Don't dance with a group of girlfriends all night. Don't hide yourself away (doesn't sound like you do thie anyway). It's an unfortunate fact that you need to be dancing to be asked for another dance (if that makes sense).
Don't be afraid to go up and just ask "would you like to dance?"
An earlier posting mentioned teaching a few basic steps to a partner - i would say NEVER NEVER do that at a social dance.

I jusy want to let everyone know that I asked about 5 men to swing dance last night all by your advice so thank you and keep those replies coming!

just relax take a deap breath and dont worry about a thing!gyes will apreciate it dont worry!ull be fine its just dancing and if ur sitting out jut beacase ur nurvours then ur not following ur desire and ur desire should never be interupted!

p.s
please respond if u like my advice!